The seagull

Hear that sound? You know what it is? Yeah that’s right. It’s us. Seagulls. We seagulls make the best sound in the world. Listen. Ahh that’s beautiful innit. Better than music.

It’s great being a seagull. If you’re a seagull like me, you can go wherever you want. You can float in the sea, you can walk about on the land, and you can fly through the air even when the weather’s rough. Seagulls ain’t scared of storms. Seagulls ain’t scared of nothing.

Most important thing to a seagull is food. We seagulls like to eat and we’re always hungry. Always looking for food. We’re greedy, see. And we never say no to a free snack.

But finding food can be tiring. All that flying about and searching and waiting...it’s hard work. Like most seagulls, I’m a bit lazy. I prefer the easy life. That’s why I like human beings. Well, not all human beings. Some humans are really careful with their food. They keep their packed lunches in little plastic boxes...put what they don’t eat back in their bags...never leave any litter lying about. I hate humans like that. But some of them…ain’t quite so careful.

Take those kids on the beach yesterday. About thirty kids and a couple of teachers...school trip to the seaside. I watched them very closely as they sat down on the sand to have their picnic.

I could see straight away. These kids didn’t know how to look a after their food. They played right into my hands. Alright…Seagulls don’t have hands but you know what I mean. Soon as I saw these kids open up their bags I thought ‘Oh hello...here comes lunch.’

I knew exactly what to do. I’d done this hundreds of times, see. First of all I flew down and just stood about where the kids could see me and almost straight away this little boy says,

’Oh look. It’s a seagull!’

Brilliant. The boy’s a genius. And then this little girl says ‘Hello seagull. You hungry?’

Stupid question! Of course I’m hungry! I’m a seagull!

‘Do you want some of my sandwich?’ says the little girl, and she breaks off a bit of crust.

Sometimes when that happens, a teacher or a Mum or Dad says ‘Don’t feed the seagulls. It just encourages them.’ But yesterday, the teachers were talking to each other and they didn’t notice when the girl threw a crust in my direction.

Now, while I was gobbling it down I noticed that most of the kids had left their lunch boxes wide open. Maybe they’d never been to the seaside before. Maybe they didn’t know that an experienced seagull like me can empty an open lunchbox quicker than you can blink. In less than a second I was back in the air with a cake the size of a tennis ball in my beak. I flew further down the beach to enjoy my cake. I could hear little voice saying, ‘Mrs Nelson! Mrs Nelson! Someone’s stolen my cake!’

You got to laugh ain’t ya. I mean those kids. They didn’t have a clue.

I didn’t hang about. In the next five minutes I nicked a ham sandwich, a chocolate biscuit , a couple of cheese and onion crisps and a small pork pie. Soon, loads of kids were wondering why their picnic boxes were looking so empty.

I was having a lovely time, but then the trouble started. Some of those kids were just throwing the food they didn’t want onto the sand. They didn’t put it in a bin, they just threw it away.

And that’s when other seagulls noticed what was going on. Like I said, we seagulls never miss the chance of a free feed, and in no time there were about twenty of us all circling round the kids, squawking, swooping down on those lunch boxes and fighting each other for the best bits.

The kids started getting scared. The teachers flapped their arms and made whooshing sounds trying to frighten us away…but that didn’t put us off. Flapping your arms ain’t going to scare a hungry seagull. Don’t even bother trying. You’d be wasting your time.

In the end, the teachers and the kids packed up their stuff and ran off the beach. The good thing was, they were in such a hurry that they left loads of litter so there was still plenty of scraps for us.

Yeah, like I say, seagulls like human beings. Seagulls will never bother humans...unless they’re careless, and leave food lying about. Luckily for us lots of humans forget that.

So next time you’re eating your chips at the seaside, remember...somewhere up there, a seagull is watching you...watching you and waiting.

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