Former Newcastle player Derek Bell says he wanted to kill the coach who sexually abused him during the 1970s.
Bell was groomed and abused by George Ormond between the ages of 12 and 16 while playing for the Montagu and North Fenham boys football club.
Ormond was jailed for six years in 2002 after being found guilty of a string of sexual assaults on young boys.
Bell says he went to Ormond's house in the late 1990s with "a 12-inch knife" but the ex-coach was not at home.
Ormond became involved in youth coaching at Newcastle United around this period before leaving the club, reportedly in October 1998.
Speaking on BBC Radio 5 live Daily, Bell said he was working for a housing department in Newcastle when he spotted Ormond in the grounds of a hostel.
This prompted him to go round to Ormond's house.
"I was going to kill the guy. I thought, 'no, I can't live any more, everywhere I seem to go he's there'," Bell said.
"This brought back all the memories to the forefront of my head, and I wanted to kill the guy.
"I went to his house with a 12-inch knife hidden in my pocket, and I kicked his door in. Luckily for him, that evening, he wasn't in."
Bell, who played for Newcastle in the early 1980s, says Ormond subjected him to "horrific, horrific" abuse on "hundreds" of occasions.
After going round to Ormond's house with a knife, Bell returned "a couple of days later" with a hidden tape recorder in an attempt to expose his crimes.
He added: "I just asked him the questions 'Why, why, why?' What was his motivation to find a need to constantly abuse me, threaten me, bribe me, befriend my family?
"And not one time did he say he was sorry. He just said 'I don't know why'. His main aim was 'you're not going to tell the police, are you?'"
Bell added that the effects of the abuse led him to attempt to take his own life on three occasions and be sectioned until the Mental Health Act.
"I've come forward to raise awareness and help victims who are coming forward," he said.
"I've been through the court system, I've been through different things, so if I can give people help and support... be brave, don't be ashamed."
'The payouts in these cases could be huge'
Dino Nocivelli, a child abuse solicitor at Bolt Burdon Kemp, told BBC sports editor Dan Roan that there could be large compensation payouts as a result of historical abuse claims from victims like Bell.
"A compensation claim is likely to be an important aspect for a lot of the survivors," said Nocivelli.
"Lots haven't had an admission from the sporting institutions, lots of them haven't had an appreciation of the damage to them as a person and we are not just talking about the physical and psychological abuse - it's the aggravating factor.
"In addition, they may need private psychiatric treatment and we do need to consider loss of earnings, because it's not just looking towards the past but also looking forward. The payouts in these cases could be huge."
Football child sex abuse scandal - what else has happened?
- More than 20 former footballers have made allegations of historical child sex abuse
- 14 police forces have begun investigations
- The Football Association has instructed independent leading counsel Kate Gallafent QC to oversee an internal review
- The Professional Footballers' Association says "six or seven" clubs are connected to allegations about individuals - several have launched internal investigations
- A dedicated NSPCC hotline has received more than 100 calls
- England and Wales police forces have received 250 calls
- The national child abuse inquiry is considering whether to investigate abuse in football as part of its overarching probe, culture secretary Karen Bradley said
- FA chairman Greg Clarke says it is the biggest crisis he can remember for the organisation
- BBC's Victoria Derbyshire programme reported that the FA scrapped a major review of its child protection policies in 2003
- Former darts champion Eric Bristow apologises for calling victims "wimps" for not standing up to their alleged abusers