Off The Bawl - 25 September

Tam Cowan and Stuart Cosgrove

Greeeeeetings!!! We were joined on Saturday's show by James Grady (a scale model of a former footballer) and Scottish Daily Mail sportswriter Brian Marjoribanks.

It's pronounced "Marshbanks" but he was still our poshest-ever guest...

While all four of us in the studio saluted "Super Ally" and waxed lyrical about the Rangers boss, we asked if any listeners agreed with the football messageboards that have dubbed him "Fat Sally".

In the company of Mr Marjoribanks (whose dad, incidentally, played for both Hibs and Hearts in the 60s before presenting radio shows for BBC Scotland), we also asked for your thoughts on the Scottish press.

And our Team of the Week (on the back of the zombie banner unfurled by The Green Brigade) was The Horror Films XI.

Here's another selection of the most petty and ill-informed texts and emails on radio...

SUPER ALLY OR FAT SALLY?

Eddie in Glasgow said: "Fat Sally. He's the first manager in history to get knocked out of every competition available to a Scottish team. Champions League, Europa League, Scottish Cup, League Cup and Ramsdens Cup."

Bryan in Perth said: "Fat Sally. Vastly over-rated. If he was such a good player, why did Man Utd sign the vastly under-rated Brian McClair? The cheeky chappy persona has been exposed as a fraud in recent months. Question of Sport was his plateau."

Kev the Saints fan from Perth said: "Super Ally defo! On and off the pitch, he's simply one of Scottish football's greatest-ever legends."

Anon said: "Super Ally all the way! And good to hear Stuart Cosgrove back on the show. Has he finally got over Fran Sandaza signing for the Bears? And can he please take him back?"

Jacqueline in Knightswood said: "Super Ally for me. He was my hero growing up and, no matter what happens, he'll always be a legend with the Rangers fans for his loyalty. By the way, I still wouldn't say no (nudge-nudge, wink-wink)..."

THE SCOTTISH PRESS

Sammy the Sailor said: "The best journalists in the world? Excuse me while I split my sides. Shame they were beaten to the Rangers story by the 'internet bampots'. A national disgrace more like. And who can forget the shameful treatment they dished out to Berti Vogts?"

Stuart in Dorset said: "The mainstream Scottish media lost much of their credibility when they failed to report what was going on behind the scenes at Rangers. It was a huge story and the Scottish public had to rely on internet bloggers to expose it. A shameful episode."

Alan in Kirkcaldy said: "Anyone remember the exclusive about the 'Motherwell-born billionaire with wealth off the radar'? What happened to that journalist? Oh yeah... he won Sportswriter of the Year!"

Stuart in Glasgow said: "As a Partick Thistle fan, I can't stand Chick Young. Ever since Thistle sacked Chick's big mate Gerry Collins, he hasn't had a positive or balanced word to say about the Jags."

TEAM OF THE WEEK

The Horror Films XI (aka FC Werewolfsburg)

Manager: Omen Coyle

Pundits: Jim Traynor (The Silence of the Succulent Lamb) and The Jimmy Hills Have Eyes

1/ Halloween Walker

2/ The Joe McBride of Frankenstein

3/ Stuart "Psycho" Pearce

4/ Tommy The Ring (c)

5/ Billy Aberzombie

6/ Jorg Albertz (The Hammer House of Horror)

7/ Karloff Tevez

8/ Tony Watt Lies Beneath

9/ Frank McAvennie (The Birds)

10/ Ivo Den Screaming

11/ Joe "Jaws" Jordan

To join in the fun on this Saturday's show, call 0500 929500, text 80295 or email offtheball@bbc.co.uk

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