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Golgafrinchans

The crew and passengers of the of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet B are escaping their “doomed” planet.

The ablutophiliac captain of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B enjoys a good soak with his rubber duck. In fact, to our knowledge, he spends over three years in the bath. He has got a very relaxed attitude towards everything.

One's never alone with a rubber duck
Captain

His First Officer (Number One) is not very smart but is regarded by the captain as a nice chap. He believes that Golgafrinch was to be destroyed by "a gigantic swarm of twelve foot piranha bees." His only function, it appears, is to offer Ford and Arthur drinks.

Number Two is a militaristic officer. He captures Arthur and Ford and interrogates them. He wants to torture them with matchsticks. He believes his planet was to be destroyed by "an enormous mutant star-goat". Once they land on Earth he declares a war on the neighbouring uninhabited continent.

A year after crashing on prehistoric Earth the Golgafrinchan Colonization Committee have met 573 times. The committee includes the Captain of the 'B' Ark and his two officers, a management consultant, a hairdresser and a marketing girl.

It is very important to the management consultant that the colonization committee maintains order and works along the lines of a traditional committee structure, complete with a chair (rock) and an agenda (agenda rock). His main concern is fiscal policy. Inflation has occurred since they decided to adopt the leaf as legal tender and he suggests that they can effectively revalue the leaf by burning down all the forests.

The hairdresser heads up the Fire Development Sub-committee. He was given a couple of sticks to rub together but instead he made them into a pair of scissors.

Another member of the Fire Development Sub-committee, the marketing girl, is concerned about establishing the consumer expectations for fire and how they relate to it before they create fire itself. For example, do they want fire that can be fitted nasally? She is also working on inventing the wheel, but is having a little difficulty deciding what colour it should be.