Dave Podmore on the Stump
How England's most mediocre cricketer, Dave Podmore, was elected MP in a marginal seat. Stars Christopher Douglas. From May 2010.
Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news that Dave Podmore had been elected MP for the hotly-contested marginal seat of Leicester Forest Services (East). Except Dave Podmore who, to be fair, had had a few.
Pod's had a lot on his mind. His attractive wife Jacqui is playing away with an Aussie ex-cricketer even more overweight than Pod; his dogs get turned away from a bed-and-breakfast by a seaside landlady who has no qualms about letting gays in to reorganize her table settings; and he urgently needs money to pay for the dogs' sumptuous new living quarters.
His faithful sidekick Andy points out that there's still money to be made as an MP, so Pod embarks on the long road to Westminster - starting by parking illegally on it outside the Town Hall.
Pod develops a political philosophy - he wants to see a world where no dogs have to be licensed, no patio heater is deemed environmentally unsound and where it's possible for the fly-tipper to walk without fear throughout this green and pleasant landfill.
All of this appeals to Hard Shoulder Man, Pod's core voters, and he's elected in a landslide. So how come he has to resign his seat three days later? And will Jacqui return? And could reality TV possibly come to the rescue and give us a dramatically satisfying ending?
Written by Christopher Douglas, Nick Newman and Andrew Nickolds.
Producer: Richard Wilson
A Hat Trick production for BBC Radio 4.