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The Lady Who Grew A Beard - BRONZE WINNER

by Jed Wherlock

The Lady Who Grew A Beard

Read by Tom Forrister from the BBC Radio Drama Company.

In the faraway land of Ireland, there lived a weird old lady called Lizzy. She had a very unusual diet of deep fried frogs legs dipped in butter. This very strange diet, magic some say, made her grow a long black wiry beard.

Her beard had magic powers - it comes alive! For example, it can make cups of tea whilst she is watching TV, it knits woolly hats while she sleeps and it randomly changes the station whenever she walks past the radio! It comes in useful too - it carries her shopping home for her, which is handy as she lives alone at the top of a very steep hill!

One day she was going to the shops when she saw someone in serious trouble but her beard was one step ahead of her it went rocketing towards the boy and saved him from falling from the balcony. Some nasty robbers in black and white t-shirts called Fred, Ted and Ned saw her beard in action and where desperate to have one like it, to help them with their robbing.

The robbers followed Lizzy and her magical beard in their stolen van as she walked home (the beard was carrying her shopping, of course!) They kept a safe distance so that she didn't spot them and once she got home, she locked the front door, put her slippers on and had a sit down while her beard put away the shopping and cooked her tea. What a useful beard it was!!

That night, while she was lying in her rickety bed reading (her beard was holding the book), the robbers were waiting outside in the van for the right time to pounce. They saw the light go off in her bedroom and made their move. They snuck up the garden path and quietly forced the door open. They crept upstairs to the bathroom. The BATHROOM?? Yes - to get the razor and shaving foam! Ned and Ted shaved Lizzy's chin while Fred collected the beard and put it in a paper bag. Once outside they breathed a sigh of relief! They had done it! Got the magic beard all for themselves! Now to plan some robberies!!

In the morning, Lizzy woke up as she could feel a cold draft round her face! "My beard!" she cried as she felt her clean shaven chin. She felt quite sad that it had gone, but she knew in a couple of days it would grow back as long as she stuck to her special diet of frogs legs and butter.

She turned on the radio (no beard to do it for her!) and caught the end of a local news flash - 3 men in stripy tops had been found strangled in a van in mysterious circumstances. There were no signs of a struggle and all that was found in the van (apart from the 3 men) was a paper bag with a few long black wiry hairs in it...

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