Must-read celebrity advice on banishing the breakup blues
Breakups suck, don't they? Whether you're on the receiving end or you made the decision that sent the relationship spiralling, breakups can be pretty hard to navigate. Add a heap of sadness, a few drops of frustration, a bowl-load of uncertainty and a sprinkling of into a melting pot and the outcome is fairly reminiscent of the emotional rollercoaster that often unfolds when you go your separate ways.
Of course, there are those people who walk away less emotionally unscathed and that's not a bad thing (different strokes for different folks); we'd all pass on that melting pot of emotions if we could, right?
But if you're finding it hard to pull yourself out of your post-breakup rut and see the light at the end of the tunnel (spoiler alert: it is there!), why not let your fave stars help. Here are some effective steps in banishing those breakup blues that don't involve hitting repeat on your favourite sad song and staring aimlessly into space for longer than you care to admit (guilty!), courtesy of famous faces...
1. Resist the temptation to contact them
The temptation to text your ex is all too real and, really, what's the biggie?! You're just checking in. Just making sure they're OK. If anything, you're simply being a good person. And what's wrong with being a good person?! Nothing, the last time we checked. It would actually be rude of you not to drop them a message.
Don't keep in touch with that person. Even if it ended quite well, don't go 'ahhh I'll just text them and see what they're doing...'George Ezra
Except... What purpose doing messaging them actually serve? You might end up sending a few messages back and forth, feeling disheartened when your ex seems chirpier than you do (surely they can't be so happy so soon?) or falling into a comfortable conversation and then feeling even more crushed when reality comes knocking.
Don't believe us? We'll leave it to George Ezra to deliver the lesson a little more succinctly...
"Don't keep in touch with that person. Even if it ended quite well, don't go 'ahhh I'll just text them and see what they're doing...' - no good! People disagree with me, friends disagree with me, but I just think you're not going to make it any easier for you or them so it's best just to eradicate. Sounds brutal when you say it out loud but I think that's the way to do it. And then years down the line you bump into each other and that's nice, but there's no point in being like 'what did you have for dinner? I miss you'. That's not going to help anybody!"
Dr Radha says: Give yourself time to heal from a break up. It will take time and there is no quick magic easy fix but you will feel better.
2. Channel your emotions into something constructive
When your entire body feels weighed down with emotion, it's hard to think about anything else. Your every waking minute feels consumed by the thought of what's happened, what's happening and what will happen. It's for this reason that The Script's advice is so spot-on, especially if you're a guy going through the motions...
For me I think writing a song was an amazing way for me to get that pain out... A problem shared is a problem halvedDanny O'Donoghue
"Our first album is basically a classic breakup album; we try and give the guys side of the story. I think [Breakeven] is a perfect example of guys tend to hold it in, they tend to keep in the pain, they tend to keep in all the emotion that they're feeling and they can turn to drink, they can turn to drugs, they can turn to a lot of different things.
"For me I think writing a song was an amazing way for me to get that pain out. Now you don't have to be a songwriter, you can be a plumber, you can be an electrician, just being creative [and] getting it out. A problem shared is a problem halved."
But what if what's eating away at you is that you aren't riding that wave of emotions, that you don't feel comfortable to get real about what you're feeling? The Script have some wise words for that, too.
"I tell you now, you can have the strongest man in the world - your Conor McGregor's, your baddest man on the planet - and they all have dark moments. They all have the bravado but in their dark moments I'm sure they all wish they were able to express their feelings and they probably all do express their feelings. So I think that 'never keep anything in' is probably the motto.
"Look what happened to us: we put it on a page, took the page to the stage and then the rest was history. We're here 10 years later and that's probably one example of how to not keep it in."
Dr Radha says: Channel all your love and care into yourself and organise things to look forward to - a small holiday or a weekend away, dinner, cinema or time with friends; a change of scene can really help.
3. Get excited for what lies ahead
You may not know this but Craig David is full of wisdom. He's practically chockablock with the stuff! A never-ending fountain of sage advice and 'Gram-worthy soundbites.
Know that there's a reason for everything and you may not understand it right now but just stick in thereCraig David
All things considered, it only made sense that we recruit him to dish some, well, sense. Prepare to be schooled in the art of clarity, straight from the Craig David School of Philosophy. (Not an actual school. Plz don't try enrolling.)
"Everything is for a reason and I know it sounds easier said than done but it's like anything I've ever experienced: if I use that as experiences in my life - not just break-ups in a relationship, it could be a scenario that seems like everything's going wrong for some reason - but when I've panned out and I've actually been able to see it in hindsight, it actually was all for the best.
"It's only with time [that] you start to heal and you start to then look back and think 'you know what, actually, that took me on a totally different course and now I'm in a better relationship or I'm in a better place in my life'. So... ride the storm, but in the back of your head know that there's a reason for everything and you may not understand it right now but just stick in there."
Dr Radha says: After some time try to get perspective on the relationship and what happened - try to take responsibility for any part you may have played in the break up and learn from this and recognise the part the other person had in the break up without guilt or blame.
But what can you do if you're watching a friend go through a breakup?
At a loss for how to help you pal? Thankfully Rita Ora has some ideas.
"Break ups are always hard because you never really know what is actually the real story because you're not that person, so you just have to be a quiet support cushion. If they want to cry, let them cry on you. If they want to be angry at you for little things you just have to understand that it's only because they're going through a break-up.
"I think you really just have to be that sponge for your friend and then once they get out of it then you can be like 'hey, by the way, you were completely weird then!' but I think it's just being around your friends. Distracting yourself."
And, finally, some advice from Dr Radha:
- It will hurt and it will feel painful for a while but it will get better with time
- Recognise and accept that difficult feelings will come up for you and accept that it is OK to feel them
- Make sure you are talking to friends and family about how you feel
- Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up
- Treat yourself like a best friend and do things that make you feel good