The astonishing diary of a depressed sheep
by Beth Grierson, aged 10
Yawn. What a boring day. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how I haven’t died of boredom. I mean, I’m stuck in this boring field with boring grass, just waiting to be turned into chops. I’m all alone, with only my reflection to keep me going. Wouldn’t it be great if something interesting could happen for once? Even the cows have each other for company. Maybe though, I should think about looking on the bright side. Hang on, there is no bright side, is there? I mean, I’m a depressed sheep.
I started to plan my escape today, but got distracted by grass. Then I tried to hold my nose so I couldn’t smell it, but then I remembered I have hooves. Are there actually any perks to being a sheep?
No, there are no perks to being a sheep. I think I’ll go munch some grass.
A week has passed, and the weather has been monstrous. Aw, come on. The clouds are grey and the sky keeps rumbling. No doubt, a storm is brewing.
Day 7 and 10 minutes
HELP!!! It’s pouring down! I’d better go into my shelter!
Day 7 ½
Eek! A lightning bolt struck the grass! Thank goodness it missed me! Note to self: don’t eat from that patch of grass…
Finally, the storm has died down. However, a strange flower has appeared where that lightning bolt has struck. It looks very tasty, I’m gonna eat it. Hang on, isn’t there something I needed to remember about that patch of grass? Never mind, it’ll come back to me…
Ugh. I feel terrible. I have a terribly annoying itch on my back. I need to scratch it. Great, I can’t reach it. I should really get back to my escape plan, I haven’t thought about it in a week. Ooh, grass…
I can see some pretty birds soaring overhead. Whoa, those birds are so elegant. I wish I could fly… I mean, how amazing would that be? Roaming free over the world… Hang on, can sheep fly? Lets’ find out!
Day 14 and 5 minutes
WOO-HOO! I can fly! Hey, the lightning bolt must have created the flower and that itch must have been my wings growing! Goodbye Mr. Reflection, I’m off to Rio de Janeiro!
I’m… exhausted… Need… to… rest… I’ll rest on this float….
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s with the massive crowd and the purple banner, or is it green? Perfect, I’m colour-blind. And the words on it… the crying fleet? No, that doesn’t make any sense. Oh! The flying sheep! Does that mean... me?! Awesome! Whoa. Does that mean I’m famous? A-MAY-ZING!!! I'll be interviewed! Oh, humans don't understand sheep, do they? Never mind. Anyway, how could anybody be depressed when they’re this famous?