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by Emily Potts, aged 9

Cake Wars

Read by Jane Slavin from the BBC Radio Drama Company

Crowds of people entered the bright, busy village fete. The weather was unbelievably sunny, flowers were everywhere. Stalls were scattered, so people could buy fruits, vegetables, figurines and cupcakes. There were loud barking tents with dog shows, sweet smelling flowering arranging competition tents and there was even a beautiful baking tent where everyone brought pretty cakes so they could be judged. The smells of earth and freshly cut grass filled guests’ noses.

The folks that had made a cake entered the white, tall tent. In the tent there were mainly sweet -faced old ladies with glasses, walking sticks and old persons’ paraphernalia, looking jealously at each other’s gorgeous bakes. The plastic windows made it a bit darker but it was still light. Rows of tables were set out so people could place their multi-tiered masterpieces for the star judge Mary Berry and her crew to gaze upon.

There were sugar shoes, spun sugar, blown sugar bubbles and sugar paste figures. There was iced lettering, iced gems, iced flowers, iced piping work and a selection of paint work and gum pastes all decorating particularly perfect sponges, fruit cakes and sandwiches. Lily, aged nine, stood shyly at the side of her ordinary Victoria sandwich with jam, butter cream and a dusting of icing sugar.

A nice, wrinkly old dear with a little white splodge of face cream still on her cheek dropped her glasses onto to the dusty floor.
“Oh no I’ve lost my glasses my lovelies,” she cried. “All start looking!”
Everyone started to get onto their hands and knees to look whilst she sneakily sprinkled salt all over five beautiful cakes.

Another old lady, with a warty face, wearing a frilly, silly dress told another old lady who was interested in birds, “Look over there! There is a sparrow hawk!”
Whilst the lady was looking away she swapped her digestive wheels on her car cake for circular dog biscuits!

A blue eye-shadowed, proud elderly woman wearing a feathered hat, a white wedding-style dress and black high heels asked two friends to fetch cups of tea. Whilst they were gone she sprinkled white-painted dried dog poo onto a winter wonderland cake. At another she aimed golden spray paint for metal. Instead of metal, she used it on the fondant coin.

Over the next hour every single cake was covered in horrible, horrific, homemade horrors. Then the judging began. Everyone left the tent, looking smug, thinking they had won because they had destroyed everyone’s cakes.

Mary Berry and her team went into the tent and tasted each cake. From outside people could hear Mary Berry shouting and screaming and the sounds of loud throwing up. One of her crew ran from the tent, running home to get as far away from the cakes as possible.

The bakers, still feeling smug, entered the now splodgy, stinky tent. They saw the trophy, sparkling brightly next to the winner ... Lily, aged 9, with her Victoria sandwich sprinkled with icing sugar.

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