Highlands & Islands

10 jokes by new world record gag teller Donald MacLeod

Luskentyre Image copyright Iain MacLean
Image caption The Isle of Harris beach at Luskentyre was an inspiration for one of Mr MacLeod's jokes

Donald MacLeod, from Lewis, broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in an hour at an event in Glasgow on Wednesday night. Here are 10 of his 580 gags.

1. What do you put on your car when you are trying to drive on a beach in Harris? Luskentyres.

2. I just bought a new race horse but it will only run in the dark. It's a total nightmare.

3. How do you break up with a tractor? Write a John Deere letter.

Image copyright Reuters
Image caption Superhero Batman also features in the Scotsman's list of gags

4. What's the funniest underground station in Glasgow? Kelvin Bridges.

5. The hardest place in Ireland to keep a candle burning? Wicklow.

6. What do you call a man surrounded by beef stock? Stew.

7. What's the mathematician's favourite place in New York? Times Squared.

8. Doctor, doctor, I think I'm addicted to iPads. I can give you a tablet for that.

9. Why was the lobster fired from his job? Kept pinching stuff.

10. Where's the best place in South Africa to get a Batman outfit? Cape Town.

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