Breck Bednar's mum urges gamers to 'play virtual, live real'

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Breck BednarImage source, Essex Police

The mother of a 14-year-old boy from Surrey, murdered by a teenager he met through online gaming, says she hopes her son's story will lead to better online safety for others.

Breck Bednar was killed by Lewis Daynes after the 19-year-old lured him to his home at Grays in Essex.

Lorin LaFave said: "I want Breck's story to show that there really is evil out there. Not everyone.

"But it only takes one evil person to cause this kind of damage."

Lewis Daynes admitted murder and has been sentenced to life in jail.

Image source, Essex Police

Lorin, from Caterham, says that Breck and his friends would regularly spend their evenings playing war games on a server set up by Daynes.

"When I would go into his room or walk by and listen I could hear how interesting it was and I could understand why they were socialising this way."

She started to get worried that Daynes was having a growing influence over her son and that his personality was starting to change.

"Breck was telling me that Daynes didn't think he should have to get off the computer. Daynes didn't think he should have to do chores. Daynes didn't think he should have to do family activities."

Lorin took away her son's computer and reported her concerns to the police.

'Manipulative behaviour'

"I told them about Daynes's manipulative behaviour and the fact that I thought he was grooming Breck and the other boys. I just said, 'I know there's something wrong because he's changing Breck's behaviour and ideologies.'"

She was unaware that the older teenager had sent Breck a mobile phone so they could remain in contact.

She says he would tell Breck about lucrative business opportunities, promising in one email that they would work together and make millions of pounds.

Lorin thinks the boys were impressed by the fake online persona Daynes had created for himself.

"For some reason Breck wanted to believe it. He wanted to be involved with someone who seemed to have such influence, such amounts of money and such knowledge. I think he was like a mentor unfortunately. They were looking up to him."

Daynes told Breck they needed to meet face-to-face to discuss business and booked a cab to bring Breck to his home. It was there that Breck was murdered.

Image source, Breck Bednar Foundation

The family has set up The Breck Bednar Memorial Foundation to try to promote responsible use of technology.

Their slogan is Play Virtual Live Real.

"The internet is a great tool but play virtually with those friends, live real. Only meet up with people you know face to face in the real world. Breck didn't live real. His reality was death because he believed in some evil person's lies."

She knows this is a message young people hear on a regular basis - Breck had an internet safety course a month before he was murdered but she wants to make sure it's one they don't ignore.

"If Breck were here he would say, 'Guys I didn't believe it either, but there are dangerous people out there'. Unfortunately it took the toll of his life."

'Imagine the message is coming from Breck'

She wants young people to imagine the safety message is coming from Breck himself.

"What did he say when he was being assaulted by Daynes? Did he think, 'Wow, mum was right?' Did he think, 'Man, I've really messed up?' What went through his head? Because at that point it was too late."

Ms LaFave wants the government to invest more money in this area so that every parent can feel confident that there will be a full investigation if they report any online concerns.

Daynes was due to stand trial - accused of murder - but admitted the offence at the last minute. He will serve a minimum term of 25 years.

The way Surrey and Essex Police handled the case has been referred to the Independent Police Complaints Commission.

They will try to work out if either force could have done anything differently.

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