Newspaper headlines: Steak in prison and 'Three Lions party'
"Juicy steaks, takeaway fish and chips, vodka and drugs."
This - according to the Daily Mail - is the "shockingly cushy life" inside Guys Marsh prison in Dorset.
The story is based on an inmate's Facebook photos, which became public when he accidentally "friended" a 38-year-old builder.
One picture shows a stack of £20 notes. Another shows a block of cannabis being sliced with a plastic knife.
"Some criminals can be deterred by a prison sentence - but not when prison is like a university campus," says Peter Cuthbertson from the Centre for Crime Prevention.
The Times - which also prints the photos - says the prisoners are "living the high life".
"In one post," reports the paper, "one prisoner boasts of sticking a syringe into the buttocks of another and leaving it there."
In the Mail, former prison governor Ian Acheson blames the government for the "sense of chaos" in prisons.
"Years of witless staff cuts and managerial fads have left the front-line denuded, fearful and demoralised in the face of unprecedented violence," he writes.
It seems Wayne Rooney wasn't the only one.
On Wednesday, the England captain apologised for drinking after England beat Scotland on Friday.
Today, the Sun says ten players "partied at a nightclub until 4.30am".
"FA bigwigs are furious," the Sun claims.
Under the headline "Last orders", the Daily Mirror says the FA will "ban booze and impose a curfew" from now on.
In the Daily Mail, chief sports reporter Matt Lawton expects Rooney to be dropped as captain.
"Red mist might have been his single biggest problem, but too much red wine will probably mark his downfall," Lawton writes.
But in the Daily Telegraph, chief football writer Sam Wallace is more sympathetic.
"It feels like he has been trying to be on his best behaviour for so long now, 14 years all told...but Rooney will always be Rooney."
A different football story makes the front page of the Guardian.
Andy Woodward, a former lower league player, tells the paper that - as a boy - he was sexually abused by a Crewe Alexandra coach.
"If you look at my career you will see I was plagued with quite a few injuries," he says. "A lot of them were actually mental injuries."
When Woodward was 18, his abuser, Barry Bennell, married his sister.
"I was so frightened of him I just had to suffer in silence," he says.
In 1998 Bennell was sentenced to nine years in prison for a series of offences against six boys.
In 2015 he was jailed again for a historical offence involving a 12-year-old boy.
Woodward, 43, hopes other victims will come forward.
"I want to get it out and give other people the opportunity to do the same," he says. "I want to give people strength."
The fall in unemployment was announced on Wednesday morning, so most of Thursday's papers focus on the rise in EU workers.
"95% of new workers are foreigners," is the main story in the Times. "Migrants flock for jobs in UK before Brexit," reads the Telegraph's headline.
"I'm sure part of the rise is...people getting under the wire before it's too late," the Conservative MP Tim Loughton tells the Telegraph.
Despite unemployment being at an 11-year low, the Mirror says "cracks are appearing in Britain's jobs market".
"It was the weakest increase [in employment] since January," the paper warns.
The Sun's editorial, however, is more optimistic.
"The better the economic news, the louder the caterwauling from the anti-Brexit mob," the paper says.
In the 2016 Welsh Election study, researchers from Cardiff University asked the public to name Wales's four MEPs.
Participants were asked to choose from four made-up names and two real MEPs.
According to the i, the second-most widely recognised MEP was Elwyn Davies, with 12 percent of people choosing him.
Unfortunately, Mr Davies was one of the made-up names.
"It's difficult to know what to say about some of these results," says principal investigator Professor Richard Scully.
Also in the news
Paper bicycle helmet wins international prize (The Times)
Ed Balls warned off conference-style benders (Daily Mirror)
Lambrusco fizzes back into fashion (Daily Mail)