Paper Monitor: And now the time is near

There is an urban legend, which is simply a way of introducing something which is not true but mentioning it anyway, that the great satirical songwriter and humorist Tom Lehrer decided to give up his writing and performing after Henry Kissinger was given the Nobel Peace Prize.

Satire, Lehrer said, was obsolete.

Paper Monitor's musings began in February 2005, though it feels like much much longer. On that day, there was a story about Charlotte Church allegedly punching an ex-boyfriend.

There's been lots of grist to the Paper Monitor mill since then. Puns, photos of drunk girls, beautiful turns of phrase, free CDs, headlines bright and beautiful. Much speculation from throwaway comments as to the gender of yours truly. There was even once our own pull-out. They have been good years for people who love reading newspapers.

But Monday's Daily Express, which combined the themes of a miracle cure, immigrants, Madeleine McCann and a warning of another week of rain and storms, puts Paper Monitor in a Lehr-y mood. Is there anything left to be said?

Perhaps, friends, only this and this:

Halt! King harpoons strand! We shall off, unexpectedly (2,4,3,6,3,3,3,4,4).

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