Paper Monitor: Starring role?

Ed Miliband

Paper Monitor is tickled by a story in the Sun today.

Well strictly speaking, it's the pictures that raise a smile.

The story is that Labour leader Ed Miliband has allegedly been having "secret acting lessons" from Hollywood giant Paul Greengrass, who worked with Matt Damon on the sequels to The Bourne Identity - The Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum.

According to "a source", the director says to Mr Miliband "what he tells Matt Damon - how to move, what to do with his hands".

Cue creative snaps of the Labour leader in the "leading role", under the headline "The Labourne Identity".

First there's "The Bore Identity" with Mr Miliband riding through the streets on a bike. "Who am I? What am I doing?.. Don't ask," the speech bubbles ask.

Then there's "The Bore Premier-acy" - this time with him running though the streets. "OK! I won't freeze energy bills. Just don't hit my face!" is the commentary.

Finally there's "The Bore Somersault-imatum" with speech bubble "Don't shoot myself in the foot".

There aren't any suggested starring roles for David Cameron and Nick Clegg in the papers.

But in the interest of fairness, Paper Monitor will keep its eyes peeled for them next week.

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