How do political reporters and commentators survive a nearly two-hour press conference by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on a scandal involving a bridge, traffic studies and political vendettas? By taking to Twitter and letting the puns, Sopranos references, Springsteen lyrics and other snark fly.
Here's a selection of the more witty comments that were blowing up feeds for political junkies across the country.
Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler): "I've terminated Bridget's employment" presumably because her first name is a constant, painful reminder of the scandal. ... I mean, what're the odds? Like if your top aide got you involved in a franking scandal, and his name happened to be Frank.
E McMorris-Santoro (@evanmcsan): would be funny if someone dressed in a bridge costume was forlornely standing behind Christie wife-at-sex-scandal-presser style
Mike Murphy: (@murphymike): I am chuckling at CC's implication that he may now lose his great faith in delegating and be cruelly forced to micromanage a bit...
Benjy Sarlin (@benjysarlin): True story: Watergate break-in started as a hotel management study
Molly Ball (@mollyesque): As a reporter, I love Chris Christie. Unlike every other politician, he keeps saying different things the longer he talks.
Walt Gilbert (@walt_gilbert): So, I see national news outlets are still covering a local infrastructure story today.
Just Karl (@justkarl): If only Christie had actually driven a woman off the bridge, he'd be a hero to Democrats.
Jim Geraghty (@jimgeraghty): Let me be clear: I hired a bunch of callous vindictive psychopaths who never tell me anything.
Charles CW Cooke (@charlescwcooke) At least Christie hasn't ended his political career by doing something as inordinately stupid as drinking water during a televised speech.
Adam Serwer (@adamserwer): How all occasions do inform against me, And spur my dull traffic study.
Matt Yglesias (@mattyglesias): Time for someone at the NSA to leak all their info on this and unify our scandals.
Will Bunch (@will_bunch): "I am sad because I was betrayed" #RejectedGodfatherLines
Ben Greenman (@bengreenman): Christie: "The emotion I've been displaying in private is sad." This is the best explanation of not quite feeling something I've ever heard
Ann Coulter (@anncoulter): This is the longest press conference since Mark Sanford announced he was in love!
Erick Erickson (@ewerickson): How long until someone puts up one of those Hitler parodies of Christie finding out about the bridge?
Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman): Idea: Say http://healthcare.gov was down because of an online traffic study.
David Corn (@davidcorndc): Christie releases statement: "The highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive."
Ronan Farrow (@ronanFarrow): All my vendettas morph into traffic studies.
Roger Simon (@politicoroger): The Christie press conference may be the first one where they call a commercial time out.
David Weigel (@daveweigel): Did Christie accidentally fire the staffer who tells him when to end a press conference?
Travis Waldron (@travis_waldron): Political journos analyzing Christie speech for which one-liners may be used in future attack ads because #journalism.
Josh Barro (@jbarro): Wait this press conference is ending? I had so many more questions.
Robert Harding (@robertharding): I think Chris Christie's press conference is being underreported on Twitter.
Ha. That's the funniest one of all.