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9 best YouTube comments under BBC Music clips

When it comes to creative vitriol, tangential logic, outrageous abuse and the kind of squeeing excitement that ONLY WORKS IN BLOCK CAPITALS, you can't beat YouTube comments. And when you chuck in a few controversial or potentially annoying pop stars into the mix, that's when things really start to kick off.

Fraser McAlpine has unearthed a selection of exceptional quotes from some remarkable clips, in which musicians are praised, appraised, offered fashion advice and (in Ed Sheeran's case in particular) abused most wickedly:

1. Craig David - Love Yourself

There are two candidates for best comment on Craig David's astounding cover of Justin Bieber's Love Yourself. Londontrada wins points for a long post about a mouse eating and regurgitating sections of Craig's hair to make into mouse clothes for profit, but Ray Rock is the outright winner, with this compelling thought: "Craig David's voice is so smooth he could sing the ingredients to blueberry pancakes... and Boom! You're pregnant."

2. Bugzy Malone - Fire In The Booth

The funniest Fire In The Booth ever was Roll Safe's from last year, and the best comments are simply transcriptions of lines from R.S.'s 'bars'. In the session, Roll Safe shouts out Bugzy Malone, whose Fire In The Booth was the most-viewed of 2015. There was appreciation of his rhyming skills in the comments, and also a lot of talk about perspiration, including this from Dot Cotton: "All I could think about whilst watching this is getting a Kleenex and wiping that sweat between his eyes."

3. Bring Me The Horizon - Shadow Moses

Much bass chat under Bring Me The Horizon's live version of Shadow Moses, especially from Amun Nazim, who feels that Matt Kean has been unfairly slighted: "You don't show the bassist. Not even once. I am a bassist and I find this offensive." Icyisnoton Fire interpreted the bellowed line "this is sempiternal" as "THIS IS SAND PIT TURTLEEEEEE", while Sophie notes a more pressing potential band problem: "Drummer looks like he needs a hug :("

4. Sleaford Mods - No One's Bothered

This performance of Sleafod Mods' bristling, antagonistic No One's Bothered brought out the would-be poets in the Later... with Jools Holland audience. Ed Barrett said the song "somehow manages to capture the pointless barking of an abandoned dog - in a good way!", while Brown Jewel claimed the band were "like a golden trojan horse in a den of vipers". Lewis Knight captured the sense of giddily upturned possibilities best, however: "Sleaford Mods for Eurovision".

5. Hozier - Take Me To Church

Andrew Hozier-Byrne has a dark intensity that suits his most tortured songs, best encapsulated by Gabriela O when she pointed out during the Irishman's performance of Take Me To Church on Jools that "it's funny because he looks like Jesus and the song is anti-Jesus". Iskan Dzhabarov also likened him to a magical man-dog from the Harry Potter films, squealing: "Sirius Black is on!*_*" But Ana Silva wins this round with her mild-mannered Star Wars observation: "Kylo Ren has a nice voice."

6. Miley Cyrus - Summertime Sadness

It's fair to say Miley Cyrus excites passionate debate. Some people can't get past her occasional trips into clotheslessness, and the ones that can don't always like what they hear, like Krista Baker, who wrote under Miley's 2013 Live Lounge cover of Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness that she "sounds like a country boy going through puberty". Marty Harold is a convert, however: "Life is unfair, she can sing incredibly when I can't even microwave popcorn correctly..."

7. Skepta - Shutdown

This was the moment when Skepta invaded the Later... studio last May dressed like an angel, albeit one with a demonic stare. The snark ran deep for this performance, with Charlie Patch's apposite "this is not what I expect to see on prime time television" and WeTookAlpha's eyerolled "lucky shutdown rhymes with shutdown". Ben Drake gave a title to Skepta's look, calling it this: "When you haven't got time to get changed after golf..."

8. Coldplay sing three very boring songs

Amid streams of celebratory messages enjoying Chris Martin from Coldplay spontaneously inventing songs about boring topics, there are viewers worried about his colleagues, like Xsoccerdork, who says, "I want to hear what the other band members would do," or Nick Chambers mournfully observing, "Guy looks so sad..." Meanwhile, Kiwi Jello has hit upon an essential truth: "Just noticed, Chris dresses like Sheldon Cooper."

9. Ed Sheeran - I'm in Love with the CoCo

Ed Sheeran is another artist who often arouses the passions of people with bile in their stomachs and time on their hands. Under his Live Lounge cover of O.T. Genasis's CoCo hater DeadDisney1 manages, "Vomit had a taste and a smell. Now it has a sound." Sometimes, though, Ed comments just get weird, like this one from 823killerb referring to a 2014 cover Anthony Hamilton's Comin' From Where I'm From: “You could put his voice on an old shoe, and id probly eat it.”

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