How well do you listen?
Most of us think we are above average listeners, and journalists are especially confident about their ability to listen to find out what’s really going on. Yet often when we think we are listening we are actually distracted by the voices in our head. We may be thinking of the next question or deciding what to cook for dinner.
When we talk to someone with whom we disagree about something important, the challenge of truly listening is even greater. We rush to judge, and rehearse counter arguments, impatient for the moment when we can insert our correct opinions.
Imagine the possibilities if we could learn to listen, deeply listen, to people who think very differently to us, even in acutely divided societies?
Deep Listening in Lebanon
Across two weeks this month, I will be training 200 Lebanese citizens to deeply listen in a collaboration between the BBC World Service and the British Council. We chose to undertake this work in Lebanon as the country has been challenged by decades of conflict and dangerous faultlines.
The Lebanese participants on the programme are drawn from diverse communities, graduates of the British Council’s citizen programmes and BBC News Arabic audiences.
On the programme, participants will be invited to close their eyes and imagine a really good listener. What is it like to be heard by them? Over three sessions, the participants will then have the opportunity to learn different aspects of Deep Listening, from how to convey a very particular type of presence, to the power of silence. Critically they will be trained in how to ensure that the speaker feels truly heard without having to agree with them. After trying out Deep Listening techniques, everyone will have the opportunity to practise these new skills with a stranger who harbours opposing views about contentious Lebanese, regional, and global issues.
BBC News Arabic’s Talking Point presenter and producer will take part in the training and will produce a series of three special debate programmes focused on three key themes of discussion with which the participants will be practicing Deep Listening. The debate programmes may be discussing whether the sectarian power sharing enshrined in the Lebanese constitution benefits the country or what changes are needed so women can play an equal role in the Middle East. BBC News Arabic’s Xtra programme, the flagship weekly TV show, based in Beirut reflecting Young Arab original stories, will also be participating. In addition, the BBC World Service Outside Source radio programme will talking to participants to hear about their experiences and practicing some Deep Listening live on air.
The Lebanese training project builds on the BBC Crossing Divides Live Festival last year. On 5 March 2020, prior to social distancing in response to coronavirus, I trained over 200 members of the UK public in Deep Listening in Salford. We welcomed people from diverse communities – from those who had experienced homelessness, Manchester University students, young people originally from Nigeria to recent immigrants from Syria, white working-class community leaders, and Quaker environmentalists.
It was an experiment. We didn’t know how enthusiastic people would be to practice this skill and how the conversations would unfold. After the festival, feedback evaluated by academics demonstrated that participants felt that they knew better how to listen properly to people with different opinions to their own, and were more confident to talk to people they disagreed with and could feel more empathy towards them.
However, this training in Lebanon is different and more challenging. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, we have to conduct the programme virtually, with participants using digital breakout rooms to have the conversations over a screen rather than connecting face to face. I will also have an Arabic simultaneous translator and someone else to translate the chat in real time so I can build on the contributions from everyone.
The training I will deliver comes from my experience over a number of years leading the BBC Crossing Divides season. I’ve been keen to bring people with conflicting ideas together, drawing on my own experience as a BBC Executive Coach and training with conflict mediators, organised by the Solutions Journalism Network. I’ve spoken to psychologists, lawyers, organisational behaviour academics and facilitators such as Braver Angels, all of whom are using a variant of Deep Listening. Over the last year, I have also been researching Deep Listening as a Practitioner in Residence at the LSE, and participated in a MA module in Listening.
Many of the Lebanese applicants wrote about the importance for their country of learning to listen: “In current times, words are pouring from every corner at our ears and minds. I feel we just lost the capacity of listening.”
Another applicant wrote: “The biggest issue in Lebanon currently is the self-inflicted division of the Lebanese people, leading to civil wars, uncooperative parliaments, war leaders thriving on sectarian divisions and developing an oligarchy, and intolerance. Lebanon is beautiful for its pluralism, where none is a minority but an integral part of the same whole. I believe this is worth saving”.
I am confident that the training will be meaningful and that we will all learn from the journey, participants, colleagues and audiences of the BBC World Service.