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Gareth's Homepage

Gareth Keenan's Homepage

Hello. Thanks for checking out Gareth Keenan's website. I am he.

I was born 17th April, 1971. My star-sign is Aries. I had my horoscope done by my mum's friend Kath, who is an expert. She said a typical Aries is

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted
me, Gareth
Aries logo
This is exactly right. I am all of these things. I was a bit annoyed that she hadn't mentioned intelligence but when I asked her if Aries was intelligent she said definitely. I was embarrassed to ask if Aries are good lovers because my mum was in the room, but I know the answer is yes. If any ladies are reading, and want to find out if this is true, please email me. (If you are a bloke, please do not email me pretending to be a lady who is up for it. I'm bored of that rubbish.)

I am Assistant Regional Manager at Wernham Hogg, which I personally think is the best paper merchants in Thames Valley area. If you need to buy some paper in bulk, please e-mail me. (No time wasters. I'm too busy.)

My life is like Ibiza Uncut. I have been known to party until 3am and then get up at 7am to go to work WITHOUT A HANGOVER!!! (Never get hangovers, don't believe in them.) My defence, your honour, is that I have the maddest mates this side of a mental home.

I am in the TA (Territorial Army).

the TA logo

A lot of people think that those in the Territorial Army are not real soldiers. We are. We are well trained, highly disciplined fighting machines ready for war. We're just not available during the week.

Other stuff about me:

My Ideal Woman

If I could build my perfect woman (like in the film Weird Science) it would have:

Legs : Cameron Diaz
Arse : Kylie Minogue
Stomach : Britney Spears
Breasts : Jordan
Face : Jennifer Lopez
Brain : Winston Churchill

Top 5 Films

Conan The Barbarian
F.X. : The Deadly Art of Illusion

Favourite Actor

Wesley Snipes

Favourite Band

Mike And The Mechanics

Favourite Albums

Jagged Little Pill - Morrisette
Greatest Hits - Queen
Slippery When Wet - Bon Jovi
Level Best : The Best Of Level 42 - Level 42

Favourite Songs

Angels - Williams
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Another Day In Paradise - Collins
Boys Of Summer -Don Henley
Dreadlock Holiday -10cc
It Wasn't Me - Shaggy

I once met Emlyn Hughes, who is in my opinion one of the best team captains they have ever had on Question Of Sport.

a question of sport

My ambitions :

I would like to drive the hovercraft.

I would like to be in the audience at a recording of Live With Chris Moyles. Just to see if he's as funny off-air as he is on.

DJ funny man Chris Moyles

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