Help me out - obsessions

Being a fan

Whether it’s celebs, musicians, actors, gamers or sports stars – it’s normal to have people we look up to, or who we find interesting.

You might listen to a band’s music, watch interviews online or put up posters – you might even adapt your style, or buy their merchandise.

Being a fan or admiring someone is all a pretty normal part of growing up and figuring out your own identity.

It can also be fun to share your passion with friends and other fans.

However, when being fandom starts to affect our daily life and take over our thoughts it can become obsession.

What is an obsession?

Being obsessed with a star is more than just liking them a lot.

It is when we get so wrapped up in thinking about them that it starts to have an impact on other parts of our lives.

If you experience obsession, you might –

  • Spend a lot of time thinking and talking about your hero – so much that your friends and family get a bit fed up hearing about them!
  • Find it difficult to concentrate on other things, or lose interest in your other hobbies
  • Spend a lot of time online following the things they say or do
  • Try to get in contact or send them messages
  • Get upset if people question or don’t understand your love for your hero
  • Get jealous of other people who like them too
  • Find that your fandom stops being fun and starts being something which stresses you out

You might even start to feel like you know a celebrity personally, or sometimes find it difficult to distinguish between real life and the things you imagine or would like to happen.

How can it affect your life?

Being obsessed with someone can have a negative impact on your life.

You might lose friends or become isolated if you’re only interested in one thing, particularly if other people don’t share your passion.

You might miss out on experiences and activities because following your hero is taking up all your time – and you might even find your school-work starts to suffer because you’re not concentrating properly.

A distraction from reality

Sometimes daydreaming about our favourite stars, or imagining what it would be like to be their friend, can help distract us from what’s really going on in our lives – particularly if there’s something difficult we’re going through at home or at school.

While it’s fine to take a break from reality every now and again, it’s important not to get too lost in those thoughts.

Just ignoring difficult situations in real life, and hoping they’ll go away, usually doesn’t help in the long run.

If there’s something worrying you, try talking to someone you trust about how you feel.

Getting a balance

If you think you might be obsessed with a celeb, or anything else, there are a few things you can do –

  • Try to avoid focusing all your energy on one thing, and think about the other things in your life which make you happy – like friends, family and hobbies.
  • Use your fandom to expand your interests! For instance, if you love a musician, find out which other musicians they love or who inspire them – you might find a whole new world of music by learning from your hero.
  • Remember that your friends and family don’t deserve to be ditched or ignored (and neither do you).
  • Express your own creativity and skills – why not build your own talents as a singer, actor or sports person?
  • Remember that celebrities are normal people too – and they do normal things like eating their dinner, brushing their teeth and watching TV too.

It’s totally fine to have your own passions and interests – just make sure they are a fun part of your life, not something which takes it over.

For more information about organisations which offer advice and support, check out the Advice Helplines page.

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