Gordon goes to Lisbon, eventually
All Gordon Brown needs to do today is get his red box trapped in a revolving door to turn his brief trip to Lisbon into "Mr Bean goes on holiday".
Perhaps his reluctance to travel all the way to the Portuguese capital is understandable.
It's on the eve of a Brussels summit and there's been much talk of unnecessary carbon footprints.
Mr Brown perhaps didn't want to be seen celebrating a treaty that evokes such passions back at home, and will reignite calls for a referendum.
Downing Street say it's a simple diary clash between the Liaison Committee and the signing ceremony. While I am not sure how flexible the MPs would be, I am fairly certain that the Portuguese could have been persuaded to move the ceremony if Mr Brown had asked very nicely and early enough.
This means that the European Commission will not get the happy snap they want.
The picture in their minds' eye was of 27 leaders, united, drawing a firm line under the sometimes painful debate of the last years.
Instead they will get 26 leaders united, and Mr Brown turning up half-way through lunch, with just enough time to swig a cup of coffee before heading off to sign the treaty on his own.
Cameras will, I'm told, be allowed to record this great event.
One commission source told me: "He's got himself into a position where he's upset everyone without achieving anything. He's handled it so badly: he's made it look like a dirty secret, signing it in a back room."
President Barroso is said to be relieved that Mr Brown is at least going to go to Lisbon and will put his name to the document. At one time, as Mr Brown's people told the Sun, he planned to skip the event altogether.
I am told it took heavy lobbying by the Foreign Office, the commission and the Portuguese to convince Number Ten of what my source calls "the folly" of not going.
But perhaps Mr Brown has mollified the opposition? Not a bit of it.
The Shadow Foreign Secretary Willam Hague, says "Gordon Brown has even managed to turn something as simple as signing the EU Treaty into a national embarrassment.
"What will other EU leaders think of a Prime Minister who dithers for a week about whether he dares be photographed putting pen to paper? Does he think that other European prime ministers don't have diary commitments too? Instead of leadership we have indecision, gutlessness and broken election promises."
If every picture tells a story perhaps the two pictures will tell the true tale.
The picture we will presumably get later today will be seen by some as an appropriate symbolism on a number of levels. Many European countries always have seen Britain as a rather grudging member, and this will be a visual expression of that.
Some feel there is one treaty for 26 countries and then another slightly different treaty for Britain, with UK-only opt-outs and opt-ins and qualifications attached.
They will feel Mr Brown signing alone is an appropriate symbol of a Britain, which already has refused to join the euro, the passport-free area and common policies on migration; a Britain which is semi-detached from the European Union.
Of course that is what many, probably most, British people want but such semi-isolation is not seen as particularly splendid by other big players.
It will also be seen as a change. The consummate performer, Tony Blair, would never have let himself get in this mess.
It will be seen as a symbol that Mr Brown does not understand or care much about the European Union. The German Chancellor, the French President, the new Polish PM all made it to Brussels within days of being elected.
Mr Brown's first visit as Prime Minister will be tomorrow. I asked one insider if he was seen as an awkward customer: "He's not difficult. He's just not there. He's not engaged."
Many will perhaps feel he's spot on, in refusing to engage with this cumbersome and often frustrating machine but one can almost feel the frustration radiating off diplomats and the feeling that he is missing an opportunity to forge alliances and make friendships that could be important in the future.
Gordon Brown has now signed the Lisbon treaty, in a different room to the grand auditorium where the rest put pen to paper.
He signed the big fat book on a gilded table , looking rather uncomfortable, and had to be persuaded to turn to face the cameras.
As yet no words. But no revolving doors either.
A little earlier the foreign secretary shook hands with the Portuguese Prime Minister who asked him "where is …?". Mr Miliband tapped his watch and said: "On his way."
There was almost a sense of sympathy for the man delegated to do the deed.