Torres, Drogba or Rooney - who's the best?
I've set myself this challenge with a certain amount of trepidation. This self-appointed task is to choose between the three strikers who I feel are the Premier League's best.
It's really a pub debate with myself, and a bit of fun for whoever might feel moved to chip in and tell me where I'm wrong.
The three I am thinking of are Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres.
I've started a row with myself already. What about the skills of Adebayor? Why not the searing pace of Agbonlahor or the intelligence of Van Persie? What of Tottenham's trio of Jermain Defoe, Robbie Keane and Peter Crouch?
Then there is Louis Saha and Darren Bent, who have both had such fine starts to the season. And I haven't even mentioned Eduardo, Tevez, Robinho, Berbatov or Carlton Cole.
We have got such an array of fabulous talent in front of goal in the Premier League, but, for me, Rooney, Drogba and Torres are a cut above.
Now, how to choose? In true tabloid style, I am going to select five categories and award marks out of 10.
To decide on categories, I have consulted with Mark Bright. Here's what we came up with.
Torres - most at home inside the penalty area where he accelerates and glides past defenders with fantastic poise. He has the ability to find his spot with either foot and is great in the air, too. 9/10
Drogba - maybe less of a penalty box predator than Torres, but he can unleash immense power from outside the box. Comfortable on either foot, tremendous in the air and, of course, uses his strength to terrorise defenders. 9/10
Rooney - his goal-attempts are almost always on target as he performs the simple and sublime in front of goal. He may not be quite as effective as Torres or Drogba in the air but is a danger to goalkeepers from almost anywhere. 9/10
Fernando Torres - deadly with either foot and great in the air
Torres - Liverpool's system allows him to rely on others to do much of the hard work outside the box. But you couldn't call him a shirker. 7/10
Drogba - is often Chelsea's best defender of set-pieces, with his power and ability in the air, and since Luiz Felipe Scolari left his attitude has been spot on. 8/10
Rooney - he is a fantastic creator of goals for others as well as scorer of goals for himself. He was often used as a left-sided attacker last season, when Ronaldo played as the centre forward. His willingness to track back is legendary. But his tackling sometimes leaves room for improvement. 9/10
Dider Drogba - an asset in defence as well as attack
Torres - blistering acceleration with balance makes marking him as hard as catching a fish by hand. 9/10
Drogba - he's quick enough when it matters, though it's his strength which makes him so fearsome. 8/10
Rooney - probably lacks the acceleration of Torres, but his ability to be in the right place at the right time is uncanny. 8/10
Wayne Rooney - not as pacy as Torres but pops in the right place at the right time
Torres - gets frustrated with team-mates on occasion but rarely gets angry with opponents or referees. He seems to be the model pro when it comes to keeping cool. 9/10
Drogba - his red card in the Champions League final against Manchester United and antics after the Barcelona semi show that Drogba will on occasion lose his head. 7/10
Rooney - he does seem to have worked on his tendency to lose his temper, but it's something which has been played on by opponents in big matches. 7/10
Torres - it's a nagging worry for Liverpool fans who saw Torres miss so much of last season with hamstring injuries, mostly sustained whilst playing for Spain. 7/10
Drogba - not quite so indestructible as his physique would suggest, but then he is six years older than Torres and seven older than Rooney. As a result, he has been getting kicked for longer. 8/10
Rooney - he is harder to stop that the Terminator. He just keeps on playing week in, week out, never losing his edge or consistency. 9/10
So the totals - and as I write this I haven't a clue what they will be...
Torres --- 41/50
Drogba --- 40/50
Rooney --- 42/50
Interesting, and now I am off to argue with myself!