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Tom's Top Tales week of 30 August

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Tom Morton Tom Morton | 16:02 UK time, Thursday, 2 September 2010

On Thursday, for reasons not entirely unconnected with one particular news story, we were talking about sharing rooms... something everyone's done at some time or another. There were some crackers, two in particular relating to the perils of cabinmates at sea:

This from Orlando via Facebook:

"On my first trip to sea as a deck cadet, waaaay back in the days of steam, I shared a cabin with a chap from Kirkcaldy. Lovely, but odd. he was a total neat freak and I wasn't. Understandably he got quite upset with my slovenly ways and so, one day, decided we would split the cabin in half by drawing a line on the deck in chalk. I agreed and drew a line right down the middle of the room. Trouble was, the door in and out was on my side of the room so he had to ask my permission every time he wanted to enter or leave. I also felt, if we were going to do that, we might as well go the whole hog so, as there was a wash hand basin and a mirror in the cabin, I got a chinagraph pencil and drew a line through the middle of these too. He was only ever allowed to use "his" half of the mirror and "his" half of the sink, unless he asked my permission, and I made him ask in all sorts of unusual ways."

And on the high seas, with Her Majesty's Senior Service, was Eric Swinney:

"Great room mates.

On one of HM Warships I shared a cabin with a lad who had recently got wed.He obviously missed his bride very much, to the extent I felt I was married to her. Well back then to speak to some one ashore you made a link call which was when you went on the radio to certain stations which would connect to into the phone system. Anyway this lad goes off to make his nightly call to his beloved. Ahhh nice, especially when he forgot to switch off the ships broadcast.This went from gushing romanticism to down right pornography. But for the rest of his RN career was was known by his pet name....Wait for it.....PoopsiePie.

Poor lad."

You can hear Tom Morton's daily top tales on the Tom Morton show, Monday-Friday 1400-1600.

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