Skip to main contentText Only version of this page
Access keys help
Where I Live
A-Z Index


Individual blog entry

I'm with the Misfits

  • Posted by Donimo
  • 4 Jan 08, 4:11 PM

Image by Donimo

On a brilliant yellow background, a person in Bozo clown makeup, wearing a big red moustache, aviator sunglasses, leather cap and pants, punches a white gloved fist in the air. Below the image is printed the words 'Normal? Never!'

This past month, I saw the Christmas TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, watched the Julie Taymor movie Frida (about Mexican artist Frida Kahlo), read Simi Linton’s My Body Politic and hung out with my flamboyant friend Nathalie, who has CP. The link that connects these encounters for me is non-conformity.

We live in a society that pressures individuals to conform and be as close to the dominant paradigm of “normal” as possible. Assimilation into the dominant group’s culture, mores and standards is what is expected of everyone. We’re taught it in schools, in the media and by our peers. The more you stray from “the norm,” the more you feel this pressure. Immigrants, people of colour, queers and people with disabilities feel the full force of this imperative to conform.

Rudolph’s parents try to hide his hideous glowing nose with mud in hopes that he will appear normal. The clay comes off and everyone in the playground is horrified. Rudolph finds a friend in Hermey, the Misfit Elf, who recognizes in him a fellow oddball; however, he doesn’t find acceptance amongst his peers until he becomes useful to them on a foggy night when his nose leads the way for Santa’s sleigh His newfound usefulness enables others to look past his disfigurement. This is his way “in” with the dominant group and away from the misfits and rejects.

A lot of people think this way, both those who are considered “normal” and those who aren’t but wish they were. If someone can prove that they are useful to society, then difference can be ignored: we can “get past” things like race and appearance and ability. A perfect world is one where these things don’t matter.

But to me, that’s not a perfect world, it’s a world where our uniqueness, our individual and collective histories, our distinct experiences are no longer valued. The African-American activist bell hooks talks about each of us existing in our “specificity.” She doesn’t dream of a day when her race won’t matter anymore; rather, she envisions a time when we will be able to acknowledge our connections and similarities and also recognize and celebrate our differences.

My other encounters spoke much more positively to the benefits of not “fitting in:”

Taymor’s Frida highlights how Frida Kahlo fully embodied her uniqueness throughout her life. At a time when Mexican painting favoured the expression of populist social themes with large murals, she chose a personal path and painted small, intense images and explored deeply personal themes. She also refused to conform to the American and European art worlds’ expectations of her. She was flamboyant and loud and outspoken. Frida was an original and never deviated from her unique vision.

In her book, cultural critic and activist Simi Linton writes about some of the absolutely unique people she knows in the disability studies movement. They often have dance parties at their conferences and she writes about the peculiar ways in which many of the dancers move because of their disabilities. Someone without a physical impairment couldn’t move in these inventive, distinctive ways. They stand out, theses dancers, and Linton rejoices in their beauty.

And finally, there’s my friend Nathalie who is proud to be a queer sort of queer, an activist crip and an alternative thinker. Someone who doesn’t fit in and doesn’t want to. She has dyed red hair, wears a leopard skin coat and has an in-your-face presence. She and I don’t want to be like everyone else. We want to be ourselves, our best selves and not bend to other people’s expectations. The last time we had dinner together, we raised a glass to toast weirdoes everywhere.

The way we look or speak or dance, the way we draw or paint or sing might be very different from the norm. There’s beauty there. There’s difference to celebrate and not to hide away or fear. Many of us want nothing more than to assimilate, but I say, “Why be normal?” I don’t want to disappear. I am a part of a community of artists and thinkers who are doing it differently by highlighting diversity. That’s me in the Daddy Bozo photo above. That’s me at my best, I think, when I am loose and expressive. When I don’t give a toss. I just want to say that I’m with the misfits all the way.

• Visit Chronic Holiday and Body of Work

< Previous Main Next >


fabulous image, great piece of writing. a refreshing break from the fight to fit in.

  • 2.
  • At 02:07 AM on 05 Jan 2008, Britney British wrote:


Off topic I'm afraid but I needed to alert you to a story.

A fellow British blogger has been issued with an arrest warrant and has had to flee to the US.

Here is his blog which explains the situation...

As the BBC has very recently reported on the very concerning arrest of a Saudi blogger due to his political views, I am 100% sure the BBC will be even more interested in a British arrest and will, no doubt, cover the story.

Front page news I would have said. Our freedom of speech is equivalent to Saudi's?

I've informed the blog readers and author to look out for your blog entry on this matter and for front page, national TV coverage.

Thanks for being as impartial as you always claim to be. Where would we be without you?

Leather pants eh?

(In the UK, "pants" means "knickers"... ;-)

Okay, BBC, I will try again to comment. Thanks, Sarah. It's a complex subject and one very close to my heart. And Flash, I'm not so non-conforming that I wear leather "underwear" (as we say in Canada)... leather "trouser" (is that right?) are uncomfortable enough! ;-)

  • 5.
  • At 03:35 AM on 13 Jan 2008, Jackal wrote:

This is my bestfriend. I love her and her artistic expression. I love her non-conformity. I think about belonging. I believe we all want to belong, to be accepted, not to be squeezed into a box, not to fit it. I don't believe that we can all get along, no matter how much Rodney King might want it. But I do believe we can all belong. Does that seem diametrically opposed?

The challenge is to be accepted as we are in all our complexity, and to be able to belong where we want and need to belong(have access to the communities etc. we want to be a part of). I do think that people can co-exist peacefully, that we have the potential for that. It takes a lot of work, though, on many levels (personal, societal, political).

  • 7.
  • At 04:55 AM on 18 Feb 2008, Quentin wrote:

Fabulous image and a smart article. Get your freak on! We can be unique and beautiful. We don't need to be supercrips or super "normal." You are a beautiful, edgy clown!

Welcome to Ouch's blog, where we bring you posts by disabled guest bloggers from around the web, plus entries by members of the Ouch team on disability topics big and small. Bookmark us, and be sure to add your comments too.


Browse entries by month:

« April 2008


Join in with the discussion on Ouch's lively messageboard.


Subscribe to our free newsletter to receive regular Ouch! updates.


The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites.

The opinions of our guest bloggers are their own, and do not necessarily represent the views of either Ouch or the BBC.

About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy