Science Student sits his mock
- 20 Dec 06, 05:11 PM
He's making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice. That's right - Fumbi, my Physics teacher, has been marking the mock A-level paper that his students sat the other day.
I went into the exam hall with a new calculator and a stylish wipe-clean wallet of protractors, and most of all with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. You'd never guess it to look at me, but it's been many years since I was last injuncted to write on one side of the paper only, and to answer all the questions.
In case you haven't been following my progress - and we won't hold it against you - I've been studying physics in an effort to find out why so few of our young people are doing the same, notwithstanding our matchless heritage in engineering and technology. We've been looking at dams in Scotland and wrestling with giant magnets and meeting the charming and brilliant Kathy Sykes, of TV science fame.
But all along I knew that there would be a reckoning in December, that the festive season would find me scribbling equations alongside my Christmas cards. Tune in tonight to find out how I got on.
But please I beg of you - don't judge me too harshly, gentle viewer! I haven't actually completed all the course work yet - Young's Modulus, for example, remains a tantalising enigma to me.
If I may, I'd like to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for the way my colleagues have helped me shoulder the burden, especially Newsnight's exotic and multi-garlanded cameraman Antoine de Joliffe. When a few were quite prepared to mutter behind my back about how few marks I'd score, he bravely went out on a limb and said that I'd get none at all.
Find out tonight if he'll have to eat crow, or at least his favourite Tottenham Hotspur bobblecap.