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If Sven quit this morning...

  • Paul Mason
  • 26 Jun 06, 11:26 AM

sven203associatedpress.jpgThere is so much negative analysis of England’s shambolic performance against Ecuador that I am put in mind of all the books on “Sven and the art of management” that must now, surely, be good for pulping. Here’s a challenge for fellow Idle Scrawlers – Sven resigns today and, Roy of the Rovers style, you are catapulted into the management role, jetting out the Germany right now. The team is assembled in a hotel meeting room; you have 30 minutes to prepare your strategy to beat Portugal. What do you say? Here’s what I would say:

“Lads – there’s only two possibilities: either you are a bunch of lazy, overpaid carthorses, or Sven was doing something wrong. I think the latter. That is why I have asked Mr Mclaren also to sling his hook. Look on it as a liberation – you’ve got a week to get it right and we are going to start the moment we leave this room. For now – a ten point plan...

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