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It's not like that at the movies

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Mark Kermode | 10:56 UK time, Monday, 5 July 2010

Some sporting tournament in Africa has captured the attention of a good deal of the British population but for me it simply offered an opportunity to ask how you would constitute a perfect alternative-to-football triple bill, and from Jaws to The Lives of Others by way of The Graduate, Hairspray and Cool Runnings, you have done yourselves proud!

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  • Comment number 1.

    Aaah I forgot to add my triple bill. Never mind here it is. Three films which have nothing to do with football, or any other sport at all. They start weird and get weirder. Tremendous fun though.
    1. "Hour of the Wolf" by Ingmar Bergman. 1968.
    2. "Eraserhead" by David Lynch. 1976.
    3. "Begotten" by E. Elias Merighe. 1991.
    All three are strange, brooding, nightmarish trips through the darker side of surrealism and experimental filmmaking.
    Now I admit that Begotten isn't exactly the most exciting and accesible film around. It is very grainy, black and white, without much sound and no dialogue but I urge those who have an interest in films which push the boundaries to have a look. Also a way to enjoy it more in my opinion is to play the fim whilst listening to the darker dronings of Sunn 0))).

  • Comment number 2.


    I do thank you for reading my comment. I felt very proud of myself. I don`t really have a favourite sports movie of all time but Rocky may be the closest to my favourite.

  • Comment number 3.

    Rocky is probaly my favourite "sports" themed film along with "Victory" starring pele,stallone (again) and bobby moore,both films offer charm,decent acting and a fight for over coming the odds,though rocky offers alot more on the realistic front,obviously haha.

    Regarding "bend it like beckham",I never liked it.I actually would go as far as saying its possibly the most overated sport themed film ever.Had it not have the asian indentity then I would very much doubt its strenght in peoples thoughts.
    oh and Gurinder Chadha the character in "It's a Wonderful Afterlife" (played by Goldy Notay) isnt fat!!
    (regarding her interview a while back on 5live premoting the above titled film continualy mentioning the lead character as fat,not in my book she aint,yes her continual use of the word fat really got under my

  • Comment number 4.

    Thanks you for reading out my comment Mark, much apreciated...

  • Comment number 5.

    Thanks Dr. K! That's made my Monday, seriously! Though I have to agree with the overall comment, there was a fantastic selection of films listed by everyone, plus it's given me lots of films I hadn't originally heard of to now go and watch!

    Oh and I have to say, I actually really like the recent Hairspray film too :-)

  • Comment number 6.

    Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was actually Keira Knightley's foot-in-the-door, Doc - she played Queen Amidala's decoy Sabé.

  • Comment number 7.

    Cheers Mark...feeling very chuffed right now.
    I love those three novies so much...the young actors in Stand By Me blow me away every time I watch it, what a moving, beautiful and funny movie. The Lives of Others has such a grim premise but turns out to be an unexpected gem that will keep you gripped.
    ...and Jaws well what can you say...a true classic in every sense. Every aspect of this movie is on the money; the script, the direction, the cinematography and the wonderful acting from everyone involved, especially Roy Scheider (a big loss), Richard Dreyfuss and the perfectly cast Robert Shaw. How can you not love the dynamics between these three once they step on board the Orca...just great cinema! :D

  • Comment number 8.

    I am lead to believe by Dr Mayo, that there are 9 Kermode Harrington jackets. So far I've seen the black, green and now beige one. I assume that there is a red one in the collection but can't figure out what the other colours may be ?

  • Comment number 9.

    I think Mark would rather watch football than this film. I hope he reviews it soon


  • Comment number 10.

    #7 - "Don't tell me, don't tell me... 'MOTHER'". Jaws is such a great movie! I wouldn't mind a prequel depicting a young Quint aboard the USS Indianapolis, which ends just as the tiger sharks start circling - we've already 'seen' the attacks on the sailors via Robert Shaw's brilliant monologue. What say you?

  • Comment number 11.

    I can't believe Dr K hasn't reviewed Wild Target yet! It was fantastic and a very welcome escape from the footie. Thought he'd rave about it.

  • Comment number 12.

    @Matth Stil I say let's start the campaign's a brilliant idea! That monologue is amazing isn't it... and the rivalry between Hooper and Quint is hilarious :D

  • Comment number 13.

    Afternoon Mr. Kermode. Just wanna get this out of the way first - i am a big fan of both yourself and your blog, although have only just signed up myself for some reason. (Methinks probably just laziness). Like yourself Doctor, I dont much care for football. Or any sport for that matter. Watching something for 90 minutes just to find out who kicked or hurled what ball through what apparatus is about as interesting to me as watching my lawn grow. Anyway, my anti-footsoccer cup triple bill (although not really linked to each other in any way) would be as follows:

    Natural Born Killers
    American Beauty
    A Tale of Two Sisters (the origional Korean version, obviously)

    Like i said... they are in no way associated to one another but for me that would be an ideal night in as apposed to sitting in a loud pub listening to people shouting barely coherent obscenities at the TV and telling people who frankly couldn't care less (like myself) about what they would have done if THEY had been England manager. Anyway i suppose to each his own....

  • Comment number 14.

    #12 - And directed by Steven Spielberg, of course!

  • Comment number 15.

    PS #14 - The prequel, I meant.

  • Comment number 16.

    Well done Mark: you love Stand by me!!!
    It's my favorite movie!!

  • Comment number 17.

    I just listened to the latest podcast with the chat about possession. I watched it after the first time you mentioned it and I'm sorry but it is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

  • Comment number 18.

    @10, 12, 14, 15
    I'm pretty sure I've read about Speilberg toying with the idea of an 'Indianapolis' movie several years ago (In 'Neon' magazine, if I recall)
    but so far nothing's occured, And (I might be wrong about this) I'm sure I heard that J.J. Abrahms has also recently pondered adapting it.
    *does quick internet search on topic*
    Hmmm... Looks like Abrahms jumped ship (pun, as always, intended) on the project but it was announced that a movie adaptation was to be helmed by Chris Kentis, director of well revered, low budget shark romp 'Open Water' 2006. No news since then. Bah.
    There was a TV movie based on the incident made in 1992 (but no Quint, sadly).
    Let's hope the project hasn't sunk without trace! (pun, as always, blah blah you know the drill).

    PS: Does anyone else remember 'Neon'? It was great!

  • Comment number 19.

    Very strange Kermode, I actually had a somewhat similar relationship with Blue Velvet. I saw the movie as a teen at a point when I was making an effort to go through all of the classics like Citizen Kane and the like for the first time and had honestly given myself a little superiority complex over it due to being able to out-knowledge my school peers. I also had a little more rigid idea of what constitutes a good movie so needless to say it not only had me completely freaked out (to the point where I actually had to stop the tape at several moments and step outside for some air) but I absolutely LOATHED it. I spent years making every effort to tell people how terrible it was, the of course I eventually went back and watched it again and felt like a total jerk.

    It's grown on me, very much, to the point where it is now very dear and in between all of the other films I'm always happy to revisit it. But that was a hard, humbling lesson.

    Very odd that there are two of us. I imagine there must be even more.

    I also suspect the football thing might be over or close to over now as I haven't heard any vuvuzela jokes in the past few days.

  • Comment number 20.

    Oh and to add to the non-football sports movies/sports movies not really about sports: The Sandlot.

    Love that movie. Didn't see it on any of the lists.

  • Comment number 21.

    On a somewhat different topic: your pronunciation of cast and crew's names on the radio. You realise that you can just punch in the person's name on Youtube and listen for when the interviewer (David Letterman, a red carpet reporter, etc) mentions their name?

  • Comment number 22.

    Funny someone should mention the Three Colours trilogy, because I actually did go to see that instead of watching a football match: under the influence of non-football watching friends at university, I went to see it as a triple bill at the Watershed in Bristol, and I've remembered it ever since as one of my more stupid decisions. Five hours of thoughtful, subtitled art film turned out to be about two hours more than my attention span could cope with, and I could have been watching England beating Holland 4-1.

    It still rankles slightly 14 years later. *sigh*

  • Comment number 23.

    Interesting that someone mentioned Invictus because that is on Sky Box Office right now and has clearly been held onto by BSkyB waiting for the World Cup season in order to harness that South African-sport-hosts fever. Therefore, not counter-programming, more like...parallel-programming.

  • Comment number 24.

    For a second I thought Mark was going to read my suggestions!...but he didn't. I've not felt disappointment like that since I was three and I realised my Spiderman slippers wouldn't allow me to climb up walls (like the man in the shop claimed)

  • Comment number 25.

    I never actually offered my three:

    [1] Zulawski's Possession - which I haven't seen in a very long time (the pre-cert VHS years) but remember rather liking. Surprised nobody's mentioned this, given Dr K's love for the film, and the fact that the BBFC certified it for video last week, which indicates it's coming soon to an HMV near you.

    [2] Carry On Up The Khyber - which was Channel 4's own piece of counter-programming the other weekend. It's not the best of them, but the last half hour is sublime.

    [3] The Medua Touch - a fine cast of British character actors (Harry Andrews, Michael Hordern, Jeremy Brett, Gordon Jackson) headed by a ranting Richard Burton as a telekinetic madman destroying a cathedral with the power of his mind, aided by a thundersome music score.

  • Comment number 26.

    Er, yes, that should be The MEDUSA Touch. Sorry.

  • Comment number 27.

    Genuinely chuffed to hear Mark K read out my suggestions!

    A friend and I did actually do a DVD triple bill during the England/Algeria game, which was rumoured to be one of the worst England games ever. We watched Let The Right One In, Stand By Me and Secrets And Lies. Three terrific movies each with a nice balance of humour, pathos and tragedy.

    @18 - I have very fond memories of Neon magazine and still have a number of cuttings as well as their 1000 Essential Movies On Video booklet that came with an issue around 1996-ish. It was thanks to the booklet that I discovered the amazing and massively under-valued film from which I took my user name!

    @25 - The Medusa Touch is a great film, with a little appearence also by the wonderful Philip Stone towards the end. The hand-written note climax of the picture still sends a shiver down my spine.


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