After Her Majesty's Bafta-winning parachute jump, I did a double-take at the sight of "Queen and Duke of Edinburgh to visit Mars". I then realised that it's probably a very convenient visit, given that Windsor Castle must have a very similar postcode.
Right, based on the ability to hum Justin Bieber's Never Let You Go, Paper Monitor is clearly a 12-year-old girl.
Rusty, Montreal, Canada
Tom Fordyce, BBC Sport's chief sports writer, describes the Grand National as "a rollercoaster ride". Could I suggest that someone has a quiet but urgent word with him before tomorrow afternoon.
Who says there's no North/South divide?