I don't get it. Derren Brown makes things disappear, it's "an illusion". His cleaner makes things disappear, it's "theft".
Basil Long, Nottingham
The French phone bill in threepenny bits would be 2.344 Billion Km - the end would be somewhere between the orbit of Saturn and Uranus. Of course the trouble is that none of the banks would want to let you pay-in such a stash.
Lewis Graham, Hitchin
The murky allure of the Loch Ness monster - your estimation of the amount of water in Loch Ness was out by a factor of 100,000. Very disappointing, if you can get something this wrong etc. etc....
Emma, (letters, Thursday) - maybe it says a lot about my sense of humour, but when I heard about the musical mice, my first thought was Monty Python. And the Mouse Organ.
Paul H, Hedon
Mark (Thursday's letters), you can believe many things in Scotland. But believing that the Earth is flat isn't one of them. As one of the millions of people who have climbed (well, walked actually) to the peak of Beinn Nibheis (other mountains are also available) I can confirm that it is far from flat.
Paper Monitor quoting Harry Wallop (great name) on Thursday - I'm familiar with the West Lothian question, but what's the Midlothian question?
Margaret, Christchurch, New Zealand
Blimey, who knew luggage had its own country? A Glasgow Airport spokesman said: "Fire crews attended following a report of smoke on board. All passengers disembarked safely and were repatriated with their luggage once the aircraft had been declared safe."
Sarah, Basel, Switzerland
Could you re-post the article on procrastination, please, as I never got round to reading it.
John Whapshott, Westbury
On lifts: I have to tell you this. (In case no one else remembers...it should be recorded for posterity). Our lift in Student Halls in 1984 had the standard buttons - Hold, 2, 1, G, B, LB. Some wit had added comments in indelible ink so that it read:
"Hold me tight
1 more time
It was never a lift to be scared in, most of my fellow (male) students could stop it between floors and force the doors open, to impress us with the depth of the drop. Otisosis? No way. We loved our lift.