A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's two days since the Britain's Got Talent finale, but Pudsey - the canine half of its winning double act - is still tabloid top dog.
"Everyone's begging to hire Pudsey," announces the Daily Express; "I'm going to be bigger than Simon Growl," predicts the pooch (via speech bubble) in the Daily Mirror.
Hollywood beckons, apparently. There's talk of dog food promotions. And - the sign of bona (or should that be boner? [No - Ed]) fide celebrity - he's already the star of a sex scandal of sorts, with a "woofs 'n' all" biography in the pipeline.
For Pudsey has a "gay secret", pants the Daily Star's Peter Dyke. Despite having fathered six puppies, Pudsey has a "pedigree chum" in the shape of a cocker spaniel named Sam, and Crumble, Pudsey's border collie girlfriend, is in the doghouse.
Pudsey's owner/trainer/soulmate, 17-year-old Ashleigh, admits it's true: "Whenever Pudsey sees Sam, he is in love... Pudsey is a complete flirt."
But it's not all sex, dog treats and rock'n'roll. Being so in demand means Pudsey may have to get his very own "doggyguard", writes Mark Jefferies in the Mirror.
"I went to take him to the toilet and I needed security with me at the weekend because people were coming in the gates, crowding around," says Ashleigh. "I was like 'he just needs a poo, leave him alone'. He was mobbed and it did stress him out."
She added: "I think people forget he is a dog."
But the Mirror's Jim Shelley isn't impressed. "Having given the world punk rock and pop music, Britain is now captivated by, represented by, a dancing dog," he howls.
"The country really has gone to the dogs."
Indeed - and it turns out Pudsey himself has a rival for the newspapers' affections.
"It's a rare occurrence to see the Duchess of Cambridge hounded out of the limelight," concedes the Mirror ("A royal heir of the dog"), but both the Express and Daily Telegraph admit that her cocker spaniel puppy Lupo stole the show at a polo match on Sunday at which his master William was playing.
The hound has also won over Harry, who is pictured rubbing noses with Lupo - a "prince and paw-per" moment for the Sun.
And the "clean queen" Duchess of Cambridge is pictured clearing up Lupo's droppings. "Wags to Riches, Kate," puns the Sun, conceding that "classy Kate" remains elegant even in her poop-scooping duties.
No such respect is shown to politicians in today's papers, at least not in Phil Disley's cartoon in the Independent - headed Britain's Got Talent - which has a leopard print-clad David Cameron on his knees with a Nick Clegg-headed Pudsey-esque white dog following his master on his hind legs.
"Why are they booing, Pudsey?" asks Cameron, as the pair is pelted with rotten veg and eggs.
It's a dog's life.
(Unless you're Pudsey. Or Lupo.)