A service highlighting the richness of the daily press.
Thankfully, it's not very often that a survey of a very small number of people by a retailer makes front page news. Unless you're the Daily Star that is.
"XMAS CRACKERS" is the headline. "Survey shows kids believe Simon Cowell is Messiah, Christ was born in Essex and Wise men used Facebook".
Rather incredible statements. But according to the "shock findings of the new survey", one in four British children think Christmas celebrates Simon Cowell's birthday. A quarter reckon the son of God was born in The Only Way is Essex's heartland of Brentwood and three in 10 assumed the wise men heard about the birth of baby Jesus through Facebook.
But before you start weeping for the state of the nation's youth, just 1,000 school children were actually questioned. Also, it was carried out by Woolworths.co.uk which, like most retailers, probably has a PR army furiously knocking out such lightweight surveys every day of the week in an attempt to get in the papers.
The only shock here is that the survey made it onto a front page. It didn't make it anywhere else. Even the Daily Mail didn't use it as platform to wax lyrical about how standards in schools are slipping.
But 'tis the season for such surveys and there are too many to mention them all. But the Daily Express has a goodie/baddie on page three. It looks at what your choice of wine says about you. Funnily enough, the survey of 3,000 people was conducted by the "wine supermarket" Oddbins. The results show:
Loud, gregarious people like reality star Amy Childs would typically go for a crisp and zesty wine like Sauvignon Blanc. But serious, assertive characters such as Lord Sugar, might instead prefer a full-bodied Italian red, like a Primitivo. Romantic couples like Prince William and his new wife, the Duchess of Cambridge, typically wanted a rich and lustrous red like a Californian Pinot Noir. And party animals, including supermodel Kate Moss, could be expected to favour something light like a Rose"
So what can we personally concluded from this? It's Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge party that Paper Monitor would crash. Room for a little one?