A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Stifled yawn. Biggggggggg stretch. Paper Monitor is a wee bit tired this morning. Even though there is a lot of love for you dear reader, the thought of trawling through the papers to select some choice nuggets of news for you is making one feel a teeny bit weary.
It's mornings like this when you wish there was just one big story in town, just one person's face on every single front page across the land. A scandal that every newspaper is writing about and everyone else is talking about. It makes Paper Monitor's job so much easier. Ah, if only...
The Sun would love us to believe there was a bit of a sex scandal at the US Billboard Awards and tries to lure us in with the headline: "SINGERS' KINKY DANCE KISS". In a "steamy" performance at the awards, Rihanna and Britney Spears "writhed in bondage outfits", the paper says. And that kiss? When you see the photo it's more of a motherly peck on the cheek from Rihanna, albeit while dressed in white PVC and a few chains. So no real scandal there then.
But there are two faces in most newspapers today - those of Barack and Michelle Obama enjoying a pint of plain. They visited Moneygall, the Irish village where the US president's great-great grandfather lived and worked as a shoemaker. While there, they did what any local would do, go to the pub.
As the Daily Mail points out, there was no awkward moment and refusal, like the week before when the Queen was offered a taste of Guinness. It says "the world's most powerful man couldn't wait to pick up a glass".
But he did let it settle before knocking it back, like a professional. If coverage of the picture in today's papers is anything to go by, Guinness can probably cancel its advertising budget for the next few years. The Obamas have provided priceless publicity.
Last, but not least, another royal headwear shocker. The Daily Telegraph has a picture of the Queen at the Chelsea Flower Show sporting a hairnet with black ribbons to stop her curls being ruffled by the strong wind.
It's an "interesting" look. Could this be where Princess Beatrice gets her rather individual style in headwear?