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Well. As if the gossip motherlode that is the latest Wikileaks, er, leak of US diplomatic cables isn't enough, now Jemina Khan has been added to the mix. Oh, and John Pilger and Ken Loach too.
In yet another so-odd-you-couldn't-have-made-it-up development, Khan, Pilger and Loach pitched up at the court for the extradition hearing of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.
"The court learned that a raggle-taggle of 'household names' were prepared to stake their reputation on his case, offering sureties to the court with a total value of £180,000," the Guardian reports, but Assange was denied bail.
Early editions of the Times have the socialite and charity fundraiser Khan front and centre (bumped in later editions after the late-night arrest of the groom in the South African carjack killing case).
The Daily Mail also runs her photo, under the headline "Luvvies who couldn't save him".
The Guardian, above such considerations, opts for a super-size aerial shot of Loach mobbed by what appears to be all 80-odd journalists said to be at the scene, and a much smaller snap of Khan on a sidebar.
Meanwhile, the other papers are rather taken with last night's British Fashion Awards... not least for the wordplay opportunities afforded by Samantha Cameron and Victoria Beckham being in the same room.
"Posh and Victoria" - Daily Telegraph
"Posh and Posher" - Sun
"BeckSam!" - Daily Mirror, which adds "Very Posh and Becks" on Page Three, where it gives its verdicts on the outfits in attendance.
The shy and retiring Kelly Brook gets a thumbs down for showing too much leg and "way too much up top". And Alexa Chung, in a peachy pink, Peter Pan-collared dress (pictured below), tells the paper she likes to "look like a four-year-old".
Which is just plain creepy.
A grown woman in toddler's clothing is, as Paper Monitor learned while reading Monday's G2, sporting what is known as Bonpoint Chic, according to lifestyle guru Ask Hadley.
"Princess coats, woolly tights, long scarves: all of these have been popularised for adults by labels such as Miu Miu and Marc Jacobs and become known as Bonpoint Chic because they look like the clothes sold by Bonpoint, the super-dooper posh and expensive children's clothing company."
For the wonderful Hadley has been asked whether, in this weather, it's OK to sport a "cute childlike look". The answer, you'll be relieved to hear, is: "It certainly is - if you are a child. Under any other circumstances, it most certainly is not."
Not only is there the danger of slipping from Bonpoint Chic into "Paedo Chic", she warns, but also "the risk of being co-opted into the Cruise family" if one looks too much like Tom's daughter Suri.
Did you hear that Alex Chung? (The one on the right. No, left. Er...)