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Torn between trashing Alistair Darling's pre-Budget report and reporting the latest alleged indiscretion of a certain golfer, the Sun has decided to call it a dead heat and roll the two stories into one.
"Darling just screwed more people than Tiger Woods"
Forgive Paper Monitor for dwelling on the latter half of this headline, but it's difficult not to admire the media management that seems to be at the heart of the Woods revelations.
Thursday marks the outing of "'lover' no. 9", the Daily Mirror notes. Which exactly equates to one per working day since the story broke over the weekend of 28/29 November.
Either there's some PR mastermind working behind the scenes to drip feed a name a day to the press, or these women ought to be warmly congratulated for their media management and coordination skills.
Whichever it is, it feels like there must be some secret Excel spreadsheet stashed away somewhere in which all the names and release dates have been painstakingly plotted.
But as we wait to discover who tomorrow's Spartacus might be, wouldn't it just be simple if all the people in the world who haven't had an alleged dalliance with Woods came forward... as Magazine letter writer Stuart did on Wednesday evening.
(Re Spartacus and Tiger, his first ad campaign for Nike involves lots of people saying "I'm Tiger Woods.")