A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Everyone loves a tennis upset, and every newspaper editor loves a leggy lady in Wimbledon whites.
So after yesterday's defeat of Maria Sharapova by Argentine upstart Gisela Dulko, there are no prizes for guessing which story makes a front page picture in many of today's papers. The only dilemma is which of the two lithesome women to feature.
News sense surely dictates it should be Dulko. After all, she is the hitherto unheard of overnight sensation. The Daily Mail goes for Dulko, albeit in a negligee rather than tennis whites.
The Indy also goes for Dulko, though in her work wear. But Paper Monitor is forced to deduct points for the paper's flagrant use of the SW19 synonym.
The Daily Telegraph opts for a three-quarter length Sharapova.
But the real giant killer is ball girl Chloe Chambers, who took up the racket for an on-court knockabout with Tommy Haas. Both the Times and the Daily Express opt for Chambers as their cover girl, and there's strong evidence of newspaper ESP (Editorially Similar Promotion) with "Who says the Brits can't shine at Wimbledon?" (Times) and "Who says British girls are no good at tennis?" (Express)
And finally, an aside relating to Wednesday's Guardian - G2, specifically - read during one's homeward commute. Much of it concerned the tactics of the weekly glossy gossip mags (Grazia, In Touch, Hello!, National Enquirer etc) in driving the love triangle narrative of Brangelina 'n' Jen.
But Paper Monitor became increasingly distracted by the covers of said glossies illustrating the piece, hypnotised into reading every tagline, an endless cycle of "Brad moves out!" "Jen alone!" "Angelina fight backs!".
All the while, a nagging question began to form in one's mind. Kate 'n' Jon. Who?
For the twists and turns of this pair's tortured entanglement is given similar prominence to Brad 'n' Angelina 'n' Jen in the US titles - often beating the A-listers the main cover story. But Kate who? And Jon who?
Perhaps some of our American friends might shed light on the matter, using the comments box.