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16:23 UK time, Thursday, 8 May 2008

Is this the ultimate in security paranoia (Olympic flame lit at Everest peak)? "Security was very tight," we're told. But seriously, just how many protesters were they expecting?
Adam, London, UK

Anyone else struck by the irony of Russian football fans coming to Manchester to watch a final (Big screens for ticketless fans), while English football fans are going to Russia (Why is Moscow so expensive?)? Maybe fans from each country could set up an exchange program?
PS, Newcastle, England

Let's see if I've got this straight. Profits made by ITV from phone fraud: £7.8m resulting fine of £5.7m. So ITV still ends up £2.1m ahead. I'm pretty sure that If I committed a series of frauds netting £7.8m, then (a) I wouldn't be allowed to keep some of it; and (b) I'd go to prison. So why is Michael Grade still at liberty?
Steve, Newcastle

You are trying to stealthily sneak the caption competition back in via this ludicrous "if it were back" nonsense and, remembering the real McCoy used to be troubled by the odd technical issue, you dive in this week with an image full of gremlins... it will all end in tears.
Christian Cook, Epsom, UK

If the caption competition were back, I might suggest "Typical, you wait all day for one IT technician and then four of them turn up". But as it's not, I won't.
DS, Croydon, England

Hmm. If the Caption Comp were back, I'd be obliged to send in "No, damn you, I ordered five Gremlins. Stupid eBay!" But alas, the Caption Comp is not back, so I guess my entry would have to wait for another time.
CZ, Uxbridge

If I were to enter your Caption Competition, I'd win it 100% of the time. So, for that reason, I'm in. (If it were back, of course).
John, Sevenoaks

Were the caption contest not a contest, I may suggest (in an entirely uncompetitive manner) that since the closure of the Lord of the Rings musical, the orcs had been attempting to establish themselves in the business world.
Louise, Surrey

Does anyone else think it strange that two-thirds of people also sit down at home when they get home from work? I'm trying to imagine what one can possibly do standing up for entire evening; Suggestions on a postcard please...
Chris, Exeter

what are the Biblical attributes of a virtuous woman, US
songs for mothers and son dance at a wedding, US
jeep auto parts, Japan
Monitor note: Sorry, some of our avalanche of spam just snuck in there...

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