Re "Actress has tea room plan refused", sorry, have I slipped into another world - a village needs a tea-room 'to move into the 21st Century'?!
Basil Long, Newark Notts
Re the sale of the £50m house with seven bedrooms and seven kitchens? Is this estate agent speak for seven extremely expensive bedsits?
It's a funny that when the stock exchange falls by 100 plus points it gets it's own coverage on the news front page. But, when it rises by 250 points it stays relegated to the business page. A case of bad news sells and good news smells?
Simon Rooke, Nottingham UK
Re "Dog lead goth hounded from bus"? Oh dear. But the most ridiculous part of this story is the health and safety concern that dog leads apparently present. Arriva allow dogs on their buses, are they suggested that they be let off the lead to run amok? I'm off to take a bus tour of the North West with my badly behaved lurcher Barney. They'll eat their words.
So the bus company will write to Mr Graves to apologise for the handling of his being "hounded off the bus" with his leashed girlfriend. Whatever happened to the offence of disturbing the peace? Just looking at the picture of them disturbs my peace enormously! They shouldn't be allowed on the street, let alone the bus.
Jennyt, NY Brit
Never mind why Ms Maltby wants to wear a dog collar and lead, I'm more concerned where her coat is. It's January. She's in Yorkshire. Surely one of the letter writing pedants here has a spare one they left hanging somewhere.
Aly, Hong Kong
Today's random stat makes no sense! Are you saying women like beer more than they like men; that women think their drinking beer is ok more than men think it; or women think that either of them drinking beer is ok more than men do? Or none of the above?
It's just occurred to me that the cricketing usage of "over" is a boon for the all-noun headline fan. For example, "Planning row over language favour". Actually that's not a very impressive example and I'm mainly writing to propose the self-aggrandizing flexicon `David's Boon'.
David Richerby, Leeds, UK
Re Wednesday’s Random Stat that 86% of women buy clothes they don't wear. Like me, maybe they are buying for their sons. Their socks are far too big for me.
Does anyone have a picture of the paramedic with 12m long legs? How does he tie his shoe laces?
Having just read the amusing letter selection and looking at the names of the contributors I was wondering how many people make up names when they e-mail MM? I don't as I love the glory of being published, and it adds to my prestige on the MM Facebook group.
Naomi P, Worthing
Monitor note: Made up names? The Monitor's well honed sensors pick up even the subtlest attempts at subterfuge.
Re "Three little pigs 'too offensive'", folks, ya'll have no idea how offended I truly am. I'm a cowboy in Arizona, and we keep three pigs on our ranch. It seems as though Becta doesn't know if it lost its horse or found a rope.
John Saddletramp, Arizona, USA