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We make a fuss of Your News

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Jennifer Tracey | 17:08 UK time, Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Bert Hinkler on the BBC

Ok, we don't actually don white tie during the recording, but we do our very best to bring a certain style to the weekly Your News bulletin. Your news deserves it.

You supply the stories - an event from your week, expressed in a single sentence - we add the old Nine O'Clock News theme and a top Radio 4 voice.

If you need inspiration, here's last week's script - as read by Neil Sleat:

Today I celebrate 20 years as a professional librarian. Given all the changes, I sometimes think I should have remained an electrician on the U.S.S. Enterprise.

I was 50 years old on Friday, so why do I still feel like a 12-year-old trapped in the body of a bald bloke?

Just had a throbbing veins and purple faces row with my vice principal.

I cut my finger opening a box of chocolates brought in by a colleague from a foreign trip. I should stick to my diet.

Getting foreign students to write an acrostic about spring. Headache.

I'm about to contact my bank for an overdraft - the first time since I was a student.

A kind stranger drove me home when my bike tyre punctured and pump broke, in the dark, 20 miles from home, in countryside with no mobile signal.

My colleague, who is retiring soon, began handing over a poisoned chalice to me yesterday.

I've had chronic knee ache since the dance on Saturday. I realised it was The Twist that done it, since my knee caps had been gyrating blissfully in a way they hadn't for years.

After 5 years of campaigning, they've barely anywhere near to re-constituting public toilets. I greatly need one, but they no longer exist.

I've got a new very expensive cushion and now my back hurts even more.

Getting angrier wondering how my daughter's school can dangle a £900 trip to Russia in front of her - but knowing her parents are unlikely to be able to afford it.

Saw two lions fighting, just after the tiger escaped from behind the electric fence and had to be chased back by the jeep.

Yesterday was the first time I ever saw a mature sheep having fun.

I've now got my full slate of candidates for June's County Council Elections - phew!

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