Archives for January 2013

All The Gear... No Idea.

Greg James | 08:54 UK time, Thursday, 31 January 2013


Here's a little video of me from Day 1, after we stopped to set up camp for the night.

I look like a school child doing my Duke of Edinburgh award. Not ideal at the age of 27.

UK ONLY: Support Greg by donating £1. Text Greg to 70011 (texts cost £1 + std msg charge). For terms and conditions go to

Day 3 - An Incredible Day.

Greg James | 07:28 UK time, Thursday, 31 January 2013

Good evening.  Night time on Day 3 and we're all sitting around re-telling the horror stories from yesterday. Today was much calmer - although we're all aching and itching horribly.
We must have seen 30 hippos today - and we got really close to them.  About 20 metres away.  They are dangerous big chaps and the guides are incredibly cautious around them because they can get aggresive.
We all had a life-changing morning at a local village and a local school.  We met some absolutely beautiful people who REALLY benefit from the money you're donating.  It changes their lives. 


Greg James Zambezi


It will help them pay for school, provide children with pens, books and uniforms.  If these wonderful children get an education - they will have the opportunity to better themselves.  And who can deprive them of that?

Greg James Zambezi


Please don't deprive them of that.  Your donations will really make a difference.

UK ONLY: Support Greg by donating £1. Text Greg to 70011 (texts cost £1 + std msg charge). For terms and conditions go to

Greg's Got Talent?

Greg James | 17:45 UK time, Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Hi, it's Headmistress Laura here.

Greg's just sent me through this video - I had to show you because he's clearly being out-smarted by these kids. Bit embarrassing really...

UK ONLY: Support Greg by donating £1. Text Greg to 70011 (texts cost £1 + std msg charge). For terms and conditions go to

Incy Wincy Spider...

Greg James | 07:41 UK time, Wednesday, 30 January 2013

I did NOT ask to share my tent with this guy.

Also, I mentioned it's pretty sweaty during the night. This is how sweaty it is - so much so that I left an imprint of my body on the roll mat.


Sweaty Greg James




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Day 2... Things Get Serious.

Greg James | 07:26 UK time, Wednesday, 30 January 2013


Hi. This is short and sweet. Sorry to sound pathetic - but we're genuinely ruined. This is tougher than we ever thought. 


Greg James and Chelsee Healey Rapids



Today was a horrible reminder of how dangerous this river is if things go wrong. Dara and Philips got caught in a current and swept down the wrong channel in the river, capsized, clung on to trees, lost their paddles and were unreachable for over an hour. 

It was one of those moments where even the guides and support team were worrying. Everyone's faces became suddenly very serious and rescue boat were called out. It was a stark reminder of the perils of this challenge - which up to this point had been relatively calm. 

We're all knackered, Jack's kit floated away, and I had an on air breakdown with Huw a few hours ago. We just need sleep. And a shower.

Honestly the only thing that got us through today was the reminder of why we're doing this - raising money for people who really need it out here in Africa, and also your wonderful donations and messages. You're making a huge difference so THANK YOU for your support.

Despite all the drama though, Chelsee's false eyelashes are STILL hanging in there.


Chelsee Healey Zambezi



We've just been told that we're spending tomorrow morning in a local village. One of the villages that Comic Relief money will go to. The nearest school is a 7km walk away. It's poverty stricken and basic and has 165 beautiful kids in it and we're going to meet them tomorrow. I have a feeling this will make the stupid challenge seem completely worthwhile. 

Good night.

I'm a mess x

UK ONLY: Support Greg by donating £1. Text Greg to 70011 (texts cost £1 + std msg charge). For terms and conditions go to

A little message from Chris Stark...

Greg James | 15:01 UK time, Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Hi, it's Chris off of Scott's show here.

It all sounds like it’s getting really difficult out there for Greg and the others on the Zambezi River.

It's great that so many people are supporting them by texting in - I decided to make a little song to show you where your pound goes... Enjoy!

Was happy to give Greg and the rest of the team a bit of a smile after a tough morning.


Where's Greg?

Greg James | 13:30 UK time, Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Right abboouuuutttt... there.


Greg James route


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Day 1... Done.

Greg James | 06:15 UK time, Tuesday, 29 January 2013


Day 1 done. I'm sat in my tent with a phone with no battery or signal hoping these words get to you somehow.

Well, it's fair to say - it's harder than I ever imagined it would be.  All day on the water in boats we didn't know how to work - in 35 degree heat on one of the most dangerous rivers in the world. Sweaty doesn't even cover it. And check out my sandals:


Greg James in Africa



The lovely Melanie C and I were paddling buddies today - don't we look like we know exactly what we're doing?


Greg James and Mel C


We've stopped off on an uninhabited island for the night 25km from where we started our journey this morning.  Make no mistake - there's no one putting our tents up, cooking us dinner or taking us off for a shower - this is real back to basics.  And it's tough.  Really tough.  But then it should be.  We're challenging ourselves with something mad all in aid of raising some dosh.

The team are all getting on well, Chelsee asked if there was a Loch Ness Monster in the Zambezi and Dara just went for a poo.  That's all the news I have for now - we're all deliriously tired and I can't form any more sentences.

OK, one more.

Thank you if you've been wonderful and kind enough to donate money to the cause so far.  It's early days and this will get tougher and tougher but we couldn't do it without your support.  Hope we're creating an exciting and interesting picture of this place for you. If you would like to support the cause, head here to find out more.

I'm off to get eaten by bugs as I sleep.  I wish I was joking.

Yours sincerely, a very tired, sun damaged Gregory x


UK ONLY: Support Greg by donating £1. Text Greg to 70011 (texts cost £1 + std msg charge). For terms and conditions go to

The Calm Before The Storm...

Greg James | 06:25 UK time, Monday, 28 January 2013


Greg James lands in Africa

Here we all are then...

 The week of madness begins. This part of Africa is very lush and green – that's the first thing you notice. It's the rainy season. You also notice how friendly and welcoming everyone is. If you mention that you're part of Comic Relief, they all say 'thank you' because the money raised directly helps them and their communities. And it changes lives. In fact, we have received letters from the Zambian President thanking us for coming here. That's how much Comic Relief money means to them

We all arrived sleepy and disorientated and were thrown in a big open-roofed van and driven 2 hours to the base camp and the start of our adventure. Along the way we saw several cars driven badly, one baboon, and a local man who had the same tattoo as Mel C.

Greg James in Africa

Don't worry guys... I've got this. Gulp.

The most striking and wonderful memory of today was driving through several villages full of smiling children living in mud huts with absolutely nothing to be happy about. And yet they were – and it was so humbling to see that THESE were exactly the sort of kids this trip is trying to help out. Perfect timing to remind all of us why we're all here – to raise money for THOSE kids to give them the education they deserve so they can make something of their lives.

It's late – I'm tired, and I'm about to zip up my tent in the wilderness and sleep coz tomorrow – IT BEGINS! 120km down the Zambezi – 5 nights sleeping on islands along the way. Bring it on.


Greg Red Nose 
(I'm terrified).

Row, row, row your boat...

Greg James | 15:52 UK time, Tuesday, 22 January 2013

I'm off again...And here are all the details!

I'll be joined by Spice Girl Mel C, actress Chelsee Healey, comedians Jack Dee, Dara O'Briain and athlete Philips Idowu as we try and navigate our way down the ZAMBEZI RIVER in Africa! Arrrrrrgggggh!

Listen to Radio 1 all NEXT WEEK as we try and conquer one of the most trecherous parts of the river for 8 hours a day in sweltering 30 degree heat and then sleep on the riverbank with a load of new dangerous friends including hippos, snakes and mosquitos.  It sounds insane, I know.

I'll be all over Radio 1 next week keeping you abreast of our progress...

I've been training! What an idiot. I thought I looked cool, but in reality - not at all.


The whole point of going is to raise a shed load of money for Comic Relief to help children in Zambia get to go to school and change their lives.  We're also doing it to help save vulnerable young girls from poverty, child marriage and pregnancy.

It will be a life-changing trip for all of us, I love a challenge and this will be the toughest thing I've ever done.  I cannot wait to get going. I know that Radio 1 listeners always help out in a BIG way with things like this and this year, I hope I can count on your support. My oh my am I going to need it.

You know how I love a challenge...

Greg James | 12:17 UK time, Thursday, 17 January 2013

It's been at LEAST a month since my last adventure and I'm getting twitchy - I don't like to stay comfortable for too long so...I'm off again!

In December, I went to Afghanistan to spread some Christmas cheer to the incredible people in the UK Forces. All that stuff is here.  It was the best week of my life.


This time, the challenge is very different...but I feel as though it'll be another life-changer.

I like to think of myself as a bit of an action man as I love a challenge but in reality, I'm more like Mr. Bean. However, I'm ready for a new challenge.

A few years ago, Fearne Cotton and Chris Moyles went up Kilimanjiro, Scott Mills crossed the Kaisut Desert and now - following the tradition of Radio 1 DJs taking part in the Comic Relief Red Nose Day Challenges - I'm embarking on my very own:


I can't reveal the exact details just yet but I've been specially allowed to tell my dear Radio 1 listeners a few details. 

I'll be in a team of celebrities undertaking a very dangerous and physically gruelling adventure to raise £1 million for Comic Relief.  Simple as that!

The honour has fallen on my shoulders to represent Radio 1 and you lot for Comic Relief - I won't let you down and I promise to raise a shed load of money.  More details next week...

I would tell you what it is RIGHT NOW but...(Liam Neeson voice)...if I did -  I would have to find you, and I would have to kill you.


Funny faces competition...

Greg James | 13:52 UK time, Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Early Sunday morning.  I was having a funny face competition with my niece.  Who wins?


Greg's Etiquette (Gretiquette)

Greg James | 13:31 UK time, Monday, 14 January 2013

OK. There are some things in life that puzzle me. Tiny little things that I think about lots. I often obsess over the little things because its more fun to obsess over these things than the big problems in the world.

I'll set the scene:

It's during my show last Thursday, I dash out of the studio during a couple of songs to relieve myself.  I walk into the fancy new toilets in our new building and I see that all the urinals are not being used. However I can still hear the sound of someone mid-flow. I walk along the bank of cubicles and spot a man having a wee.  I spot him - because the door is open.

I don't know whether I should expose this person? Am I being a bit 'nana' about this?!

Is this what all the kids are doing now? I mean - I'm pretty liberal, I'm the first one to get naked. In fact, at the drop of a hat, I drop my trousers.  This one puzzles me though...

Where do you stand on this matter? 

Well, ruddy heck it's 2013...

Greg James | 15:37 UK time, Monday, 7 January 2013

Start as you mean to go on.

So this is me 'going on' because I'm starting the new year by absolutely falling head over heels back in love with this blog.  It was such a brilliant way for me to communicate the stuff we did in Afghanistan and the feedback I got was incredible so here we go again.  I realise that lots of people read this thing and I really enjoy doing it - much more than just doing little updates on Twitter and Facebook.  So this is I suppose a resolution.  To do the blog loads more than I did last year.  But its NOT.  Because I hate the idea of resolutions.  It's a way of forcing you to do stuff you don't want to do.  Like going to the gym, or being nice to your sister.  It's not worth kidding yourself.  However, I do actually LOVE writing nonsense and I will keep doing it on here.  Whether you like it or not. (I really hope you like it)

So here we go!

Also, received this today. Seems like a good idea.  Might give them a call. Trustworthy.  It's like getting an email from the President of Nigeria asking for your Sort Code.

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