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A stramash aboot the Scots language

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Graham Stewart | 13:15 UK time, Monday, 9 February 2009

Burns says yer havering!

Whit a load o' blethers on the programme the day! Aw thae folk gaun on aboot thon audit o the Scots language and the palaver aboot whither it shuid be taught in schools. Is thare really room for anither wee toty language in auld Scotia? Weel, ye certainly had a gid rammy aboot it.

Gerard emailed wi' his bawbee's worth: "Scotland... please don't go down this route of a pseudo language... use the word 'dialects' as they add an amazing dash of colour to Scottish language, but don't pretend it's a language."

Now dinnae you be startin' a stramash Gerard! That wifie we hud on the programme frae the Scots Language Dictionaries wad'a tell'd ye to go awa an bile yer heid!

But a lot of ye wanted to fen' for the mither tongue tae. "Lose your language, lose your culture!" said John in Grangemouth.

An' plenty of ye were gein us yer favourite Scots words. Ma favourite wis thon "horny golloch" beastie — Scots for earwig. "Scoople an' scaly, he has twa horns and a cantle o' feet an' a forkie tailie," I wis telt. Help ma boab!


Brian McLeod says his favourite is 'bogin'. "It sums up the state o' the country!" he telt me. Ach wheesht! Awa ye go Brian, that's gey negative o' ye is it no?

Mind you, have ye noticed Scots has a lot of guid words for insulting fowk? Alex texted to say: "Gordon Brown is glaikit!" Maybe if thon Jeremy Clarkson had used such language he widnae be in the guddle he's in!

Then I got a text fae some besom girning aboot me 'cause I said the Scottish Government disnae print everything in Scots as weel as English. Apparently they dae sometimes. But, I said, there's no mony signs and literature oot there wi the Scots, is there? That didnae stop this tumshie nippin' ma heid though.

"Your point is still wrong. Many place name road signs are in Scots. One example is the Sma Glen! Keep on retracting."

Texts like thon dinnae half mak me crabbit. So I wis getting fair forfochen by the end of the programme when a Sassenach fae Cumbria stairted speaking Shetland dialect! Aw jeez, ma heid wis burnin! So mibbie ye cud continue yer havering by gaun on tae the comments section below? A ken it's a footer signing up, but dinnae be feart. Be gallus and I'll hae a read o' yer messages later.

Right, I'm gauin hame noo!

(* Remember, ye can aye listen again to the blethering on the BBC Och-Aye Player!)


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