We Are Not Mongrels
For the three years I've been involved with this show it has been called We Are Mongrels. Compared to head writer Jon Brown my three years is nothing, and compared to creator Adam Miller, I'm like one of those satsumas you put on a football pitch to illustrate the scale of the solar system. We made a lot of changes over that period, but the name of the show was never one of them.
But. There were two problems with the title We Are Mongrels. The first was a concern that people might confuse it with the BBC Three show We Are Klang. I'm not quite sure how, unless these people haven't got the attention span to get to the end of a three-word sentence, but there you go.
The second problem was that, well, technically none of the characters is actually a mongrel. There's only one dog and she's a pedigree Afghan Hound with the breeding papers to prove it.
So the search was on for a new, non-confusing, genealogically-accurate-but-still-BBC-Three-friendly title. There was a suggestions box in the studio for people to drop ideas into and these were discussed whenever we had a script meeting.
I, Nelson was one. Humans! Everywhere! was another. To the production team, this week's episode was always called Never Been Stroked and for about half an hour we considered making that the title of the whole series, until one of the writers, Danielle Ward, said it sounded like "a makeover show for virgins".
The Garden Gang? Sounds a bit Cbeebies. Undergrowth? A bit embarrassing illnesses. Piers Morgan's Life Stories? Already taken.
Meanwhile, everyone was informally referring to the show as Mongrels. So for several months the question on everyone's lips was: what shall we call Mongrels?
Yeah, looking back, there was possibly a clue in the question there.
Mongrels continues at 10.30pm on Tuesdays, BBC Three.
What name would you have given Mongrels in a last-minute rebrand?