Freaking out about the Telegraph's claim that 'male cyclists could be risking their fertility and should consider freezing their sperm if they want to have a family later'?
Feeling betrayed by all of those cycling campaigners who convinced you that bikes are a zero-carbon ticket to back-of-the-cereal-packet healthiness?
If you are, you're probably worrying needlessly, coos the BBC. Saddling up won't rob fair-weather, short-distance cyclists (the type that secretly resents green lights, preferring instead to pant gently at junctions) of their fertility.
'There is no evidence that men who ride a bike are less fertile than other males', says the University of Sheffield's Dr Allan Pacey.
'Indeed, if you look back in our history, only 40 years ago cycling was much more common and there is no evidence from that time that men were less fertile. In fact, quite the contrary - the post-war baby boom proves that', he concludes.
That said, athletes who cycle more than 25 miles a day might have cause for concern: researchers have found that just 4% of their sperm look 'normal'.