Jason Derulo - 'What If' (And Other Available Future-Hits)
So, the other day I was explaining that the current Fugative song lacks a certain something in the hanging-together-like-a-finished-song-would stakes. Jason Derulo's latest is clearly much closer to being fit for purpose. Being a highly polished, beautifully recorded, exquisitely-sung ballad, in which Jason attempts to win the heart of a girl he has only just laid eyes on, forever.
It does, however, still sound like a work-in-progress, and, as is so often the case, the problems lie in the lyrics. As a chorus, "so, Imma say 'do do dodo dodo dodo, baby what if'' spoils the (relative) eloquence of the rest of the song. Jason's going for the big emotive argument here, the last-chance to win someone round, and frankly, he needs to go back to his drawing board and finish the blimming lyric if he really wants to convince this slightly confused lady that he's on the level.
Especially as he's only just met the poor love. She's happily going about her business and some dapper gent in a trilby starts on about beach weddings and fireplaces and three kids, and then interrupts his argument with some scat singing.
Well I don't know about you, but it would not fill ME with confidence in a potential future spouse.
(Here's the video. It's MAD. If he has the time to make it out of their flat and run towards her, she has the time to get out of the way of the car. And so there's no need for all the time travel.)
ANYWAY, seeing as there are a LOT of chartworthy songs around at the moment, and they are also in similar states of unfinishedness/making sense, here's a quick roundup, by way of a comparison. Let's see if we can learn something, shall we?
(Click on the title for the video)
FINISHED: The music. It's all barnstorming and rather brilliant. Pharrell's "nay-nay-nay-nay-nay" bit is fantastic too.
UNFINISHED: "You just kill me, could you at least do that?" - whut? Is that a question or a statement, Mr Williams? Go back and have another go.
FINISHED: The gibbering verses and the skippy-dippy chorus.
UNFINISHED: Katie's hat in the video (and if I'm honest, those verses are a bit annoying).
FINISHED: Does anyone remember the Stands? I do. They were good. Matthew P has a bit of their vocal rasp to his bullfrog belch. And it's a pretty song. Pretty songs are good. "I'm Columbo without the clues" is ace too.
UNFINISHED: I wonder what he would sound like if he cleared his throat before starting?
FINISHED: That chorus. Pure Destiny's Child. And she can sing well for a SINGER, let alone an actress.
UNFINISHED: Mumzy Stranger, you are nowhere near mumsy or strange enough. Shh.
CONCLUSION: Sometimes pop music doesn't have to be finished.
Ace Showbiz says: "What if the only way to save the one you love was to never meet them?"
That Grape Juice says: "Jason, from my standpoint, has always possessed much in the way of star potential."
Pop Boi says: "I'm just glad he's moving on from dreadful single 'Ridin' Solo.'"