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How To Destroy...Mariah Carey

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:51 UK time, Friday, 28 March 2008

How To Destroy Mariah Carey

NOTE: Don't go in train tunnels, even if Mariah Carey insists that you do as one of her diva demands. It's foolish, as this instructional cartoon helpfully illustrates. Still, it does provide some clue as to how the Carey peeps came up with the album title.

Oh sure, it may have ended up as 'The Emancipation of Mimi' but chances are it started out as the more direct "GET ME ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THERE'S A BLOODY TRAIN COMING! I DON'T DO TRAINS!"


  1. At 12:18 PM on 29 Mar 2008, Nick wrote:

    this made me giggle

  2. At 09:46 PM on 29 Mar 2008, pumpkin wrote:

    Retouch My Body
    (Weird Al Version)

    I know you think that I'm a fatty
    and I think so too
    In my imagination I'm a perfect size 2
    I know you got a thing for skinny bitches so poo
    And boy it hurts to stick my face again down the loo

    If there's a camera up in here
    Then I betta suck my guts and don't move
    If there's a camera up in here
    Then I best choose the pics that look good
    Cause if you run your site and post the pics that make my ass look huge
    I will shut you down
    Cause they'll be all shocked and amazed on how I really look
    But this is private
    between you and I

    Retouch my body
    Narrow down my jaw
    Rotate me around
    Narrow me some more
    Retouch my body
    Sharpen up my face
    I just wanna make me look like I never did
    Retouch my body
    Smoothen up my thighs
    Narrow down my waist
    Just a little less
    Retouch my body
    Add a little curve
    Come on and make me fabulous
    Retouch my body

    Boy you can put your scroller on me like a disease
    So suck off all the bits that I just don't wanna see
    I want you to edit me like so surgically
    And float away the flab into your desktop wastebin

  3. At 12:57 PM on 01 Apr 2008, Sev wrote:

    Oh pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin.... Thank you, you made my day !

    [Shucks ma'am, t'ain't nothin' - Fraser]

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