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Classified Ads - 05/03/08

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Fraser McAlpine | 17:00 UK time, Wednesday, 5 March 2008




-------------------
WANTED: SMALL BOX
-------------------
I've pulled something off,
and have to keep it safe
until I wish to re-attach it. Must be lockable.

Cheryl Co...No, Tweedy.

-------------------
FOR SALE: FIRST-AID KIT
-------------------
Missing one bandage
and one wound dressing.
He cut me open
and I kept bleeding.

L.Lewis c/o Alpha Ward





-------------------
PUBLIC NOTICE
-------------------
This year: 'Best Live Act'.
Next year: 'Best
International Female'.
Then we'll rule the world.
Muah ha Ha Ha HA HAAA!

Take That

-------------------
CREDIBLE FUN!
-------------------
Need a party costume?
We've got Wizard Of Oz,
we've got posh duffers,
we've got clowns!
No gorilla suits,
frozen or otherwise

Ring Alex - TODAY!





-------------------
ATTENTION!
-------------------
On a besoin d'un cours
français. Ce n'est pas
toujours possible de laisser
la musique géniale à parler. Merci bien,

Les Filles aux
Hautes Voix*

-------------------
HELP! QUICK!
-------------------
Did you see a pavement
come this way?
Damn thing stole my
handbag.
I had 20 quid in that!

Adele





-------------------
TOUGH DECISIONS?
NEED INSPIRATION?
-------------------
Don't panic.
Just ask yourself
"what would Metallica do?"
and you're sorted.
Hey it works for us!

Bullet For My Valentine

-------------------
ACCOMMODATION WANTED
-------------------
Exclamation mark seeks
new home. Clean, GSOH.
Would suit band name
looking to add excitement
eg Fall! Out Boy
or Scouting! For Girls.
Contact !@calminthe boogiehouse.com





-------------------
PLEASE HELP!
-------------------
I'm a time-travelling
policewoman from
the '60s,
I'm stuck in the now,
and I can't get back.
Mercy!

Duffy Springfield

-------------------
JOIN THE CLUB!
-------------------
Was anyone else NOT
in the video for
'Rockstar'?
I feel so alone!

Contact:
billy@heyheyIwanna beinrockstar.com





-------------------
WANTED: INDIE MUSOS
-------------------
Had an idea for a radical
new covers project.
Take old soul classics
and make them indie.
Lose the brass!
Who's with me?

Dark Ronson

-------------------
TV LISTINGS:
TINGTINGTUBBIES
-------------------
Join Singy-Wingy and
Sticksy in their garden.
This week: Sticksy plays
the drums, the drums,
the drums, the drums...

Every day - 8:10am





-------------------
PUBLIC NOTICE
-------------------
For the last time...
It's Rihanna.
That's R-I-H-A-N-N-A.
NOT Rhianna. OK???

Don't make me set
Jay-Z on you...

-------------------
WANTED: BASS
-------------------
Shhh! I've found a trail,
my gun is cocked and
loaded, and I'm ready to
shoot.
That pesky frequency
won't get away again.
The Hunter





-------------------
WANTED: OWL REPELLANT
-------------------
Must also work on
leaf-men. And has
anyone seen a little girl
with a red riding-hood on?
I want my tea!

Grandfrapp

-------------------
WANT TO BE FAMOUS?
-------------------
Come to the Brits School.
No.2 records guaranteed.
Befriend Lily Allen on
MySpace. Free Brit Award
for every head prefect.

Ring 0800 332 BRITS


*Translation: "Attention! We need a French course. It's not always possible to let the funky music do the talking. - Girls Aloud."

Here's a lovely popup with LOADS of old Classified Ads in...

Comments

  1. At 12:43 AM on 06 Mar 2008, Kimberley wrote:

    OK, my favorite one this time was the Girl's Aloud one. Just because I immediately wondered what it said...
    Well done, dude. :)

    [I can't take the credit for that one. That was Steve's. The boy's a genius, I tell ya! - Fraser]

  2. At 05:40 PM on 06 Mar 2008, SarahLH wrote:

    Very, very funny - although it looks like a certain someone is going to have some Bullett For My Valentine fans after him ;)

    [Hmmm *thinks*...what would Lars Ulrich do? Something pretty arrogant, I bet! - Fraser]

  3. At 10:33 PM on 08 Mar 2008, dodger wrote:

    very funny :)

    like the rockstar one

    and the duffy one too- is there a referance to ashes to ashes/life on mars in there somewhere?

    [Only entirely, yes. :-) - Fraser]

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