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Chart Report - 02/03/08

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Fraser McAlpine | 19:08 UK time, Sunday, 2 March 2008

1 - Duffy - 'Mercy'

DuffyChartSnipe: If I was the kind of chart statistician who had real facts to hand at the drop of a hat, OR Google had come back with anything useful, I might be able to tell you the last time the Top 5 records remained in exactly the same place for two weeks running. As it is, I've no idea. Let's imagine it has NEVER happened before, then we can all feel what it is like to be present at something momentous, something HUGE, something HISTORICAL, only on a really tiny scale. Well done everyone! (FM)

PS: You change the records in the Top 5, I'll change the ChartSnipes...DEAL?


2 - H Two O Ft. Platnum - 'What's It Gonna Be'
H Two O ft. PlatnumChartSnipe: I tell you, this has got to be the most credible thing any former member of Steps* has put their name to since...well, ever! I mean I don't know if the name is H Two like Terminator 2, and the fella in this band is some kind of H sequel, or if it's the real H himself. Either way, respect is due for such a radical change in musical direction. Whatever next, Lisa Scott Lee goes metal? (FM)


3 - Nickelback - 'Rock Star'
NickelbackChartSnipe: Proof, if proof were needed, that all you need to do to inject a bit of interest into your flagging moose-rock career (it's all in the bellowing, see) is to unveil a hitherto hidden sense of humour. Of course, once the door to smiley pastures is opened, it's hard to fully shut it again. Give it a couple of years and they'll be doing over-earnest, mooey versions of Weird Al Yankovic's greatest hits. What fun! (FM)


4 - Basshunter - 'Now You're Gone'

BasshunterChartSnipe: Hey, Basshunter? Are you finding that people are missing you Now You're Gone off the No.1 spot? HAHAHAHAHAHA! High five, anyone? (FM)


5 - Kylie Minogue - 'Wow'
Kylie MinogueChartSnipe: Depending on your tolerance for that bit immediately after the chorus (you know the bit I mean, they named the song after it, after all), this is a song which either cements Kylie's amazing return to form since her battle with cancer, or it has a title which begins with a silent 'w'. (FM)


The entire Top 40 is right here...

* Not really. Just messing!


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