The Gemma Factor: Jeff's Fashion Fix
So here's Jeff's Fashion Fix Part 1:
Spring/Summer season is eventually here so I thought I would help you all out by doing a quick run-down of what's hot and what's not on the high street and beyond so you too can look FABULOUS!!!
I've just hot-footed it back from London Fashion Week with my Mum so not only have I loads of ideas to share with you all, but me and Mum have got new collections for the boutique too. I love the fact that no matter what the occasion, if you want to look like Lady Gaga at the Brits (OMG how sad was it when she started playing that piano and said "This is for Alexander McQueen". I was in bits) or Mark Ronson at an album launch, then our boutique, Betty B's, will sort you out. Mum once saw Mark Ronson at a catwalk show in New York and swears something happened between them. I'm just pleased it was him and not Daniel Merriweather because I don't like his big face.
I have personally styled Gemma for years now. When we walk down the street in Lumb everyone stops and stares. I know how Amy Winehouse must have felt when she was in Barbados trying to get away from it all, and everyone was taking pictures of her trying not to get her beehive wet in the swimming pool. Which brings to me another note - NEVER go swimming. The chlorine ruins your hair and frankly sharing a big tub of water with other people's wee and veruccas makes me want to gip. And old people go swimming too. So just don't do it. Ever.
Back to fashion though and I think the key to knowing whether you are making good fashion choices is by asking yourself "Would Gaga do this?" If she would, then do it. If she wouldn't, scrap the idea and give yourself a talking to for even considering the idea.
This season the western trend is massive. It's all about casual basics, boots and acres of denim. Snap up cut-off waistcoats, distressed denim, and retro florals to get that Cowgirl look. Can I get a Yee-Ha??
Jump suits are back like a lingering STI this season too. Wear with sky high red heels and gold jewellery but be warned; if you are fat please do not subject yourself or others to this kind of abuse.
Military jackets will play a big part in summer style this year thanks to the truly wonderful Cheryl Cole and the "Fight For This Love" video. OMG how AMAZING is that woman? I just know she's going to bounce back after the split from Ashley. I love her on those adverts - "Weak, limp, lifeless..." I don't know whether she's talking about her hair or her husband. Nevertheless, Cheryl has certainly got it. No-one can work killer acid bright pop heels and matching handbag like she can. Cheryl we salute you.
So readers if you have any questions or need any fashion hints or tips to look fabulous, do get in touch. I am such a giving person I would like to heal all your fashion disasters. If I have the time.
Watch out for Part 2 of my fashion fix coming soon. I'll be filling you in on all the latest makeup news and sharing my list of 'Who's Got It and Who Just Hasn't'.
Stay fabulous everyone! And remember - if in doubt, ask yourself what would Gaga do?
Jeff Bowyer xxx
Stylist, Fashionista, Professional Celebrity Entourage in training, Bad Ass Bitch.
Written by Ross Adams who plays Jeff Bowyer in The Gemma Factor.
The Gemma Factor starts tonight at 10.30pm.