Celebrity clone theories mad enough to break the internet
Today marks the birthday of the world's most famous sheep – Dolly.
She would have been 20 today, a bottle of cheap prosecco and a party popper in hoof, had she not been confined to a museum exhibition at age 6.
Here she is, in all her fluffy cloned glory...
Yet her legacy lives on, in some of the most unexpected of places. In various dark corners of the internet, theories of celebrity cloning are rife, and arguably just as woolly as Dolly herself.
One man synonymous with such theory is Donald Marshall. As he revealed in 2011, Marshall is a normal guy (who happens to also be a clone) who found himself in a cloning station, run by none other than Queen Elizabeth. Obviously. In essence he wants to educate the world about this clandestine celebrity cloning operation, which is run by the Illuminati (I mean, who else?) - who are essentially operating a real life version of the film The Island(which according to Marshall, was produced by none other than the Illuminati themselves on a whim).
So how exactly how has this clearly legit operation been happening, and right under our noses, I hear you cry? Well buckle up and settle in, as we go for a whistle-stop tour around the world of celebrity cloning, and how (or who) it has manifested.
Let’s start with Beyonce. Because everything should.
This is a pretty recent theory, spawned mere months ago. It essentially suggests she died in 2000 and the Queen Bey we all know and love today is naught but a clone (I'll warn you now....this pretty much follows the mould for most theories). Bad news for the fans who shelled out a gazillion pounds to see her in concert this week then.
Stephen J Thomas
Leading the charge was Facebook user Stephen J Thomas. “For all you true Beyoncé "Queen [bee emoji]" Fans the chick on the left is her but the chick on the right is not,” he wrote below two pictures of Beyoncé.
“This high degree masonry witch on the right is a clone. Take a good look don't believe me look up every celebrity & look how they different they turn up every single time.”
Someone else chimed in with their Sherlock style deductions; “To be honest everybody I think she's been dead since "crazy in love" where she blew up in the car & came back as her evil alter ego ‘Sasha Fierce’ *a.k.a* The Phoenix”.
Ladies and gentlemen, case closed (or should I say, case cloned?).
From one of the freshest clone theories to one of the oldest. Beatle purists....sorry to bring this up again, but as you well know, there are some out there who believe Paul has actually been dead since the ripe old era of the mid 60s.
Some think a convenient look-a-like was found, others follow a more Donald Marshall line and believe a clone was purpose built - though all largely agree his replacement went by the name of Billy Shears. Or the occasional theorist who thinks Paul infact became some bloke called, 'Faul'. Really.
More compelling evidence lies in the reference to ‘Billy Shears’ in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album, or the hidden phrase ‘Paul is dead, miss him, miss him’, which only becomes evident when John Lennon’s song 'A Day in the life’, is played backwards. Though I imagine chanting 'PAUL IS DEAD' very loudly whilst playing literally anything backwards would probably do the trick.
More conclusive, level headed reasoning right here.
This theory goes that Avril, everyone’s fav 90’s pop punk skatergal, actually died in 2003, and an IMPOSTER has taken her place for the last 12 years. If nothing else, that could explain why this was allowed to happen...
The rumours were all started by a Brazilian Avril Lavigne fan page, with the party line concluding that to help cope with the pressure of fame, Avril often enlisted the help of a body double called Melissa. Eventually it all just got too much, and Avril was found dead. Cue Melissa becoming Avril Lavigne as a full time job.
Uhhhhh ya see? Her hand says MELISSA.
In the unlikely event you need any more evidence – check out these body double pics with mysteriously different blemishes that prove all...
In 2010, Miley Cyrus went through her dramatic transformation from squeaky clean Hannah Montana to the twerking wrecking baller we know today. In the process she had the audacity to leak nudes, smoke salvia, write in a song that she was ‘hot’, and generally break out of the confines of being pre-pubescent Hannah.
As the theory goes, Disney was not best pleased with this. There are several variations on exactly what happened, but one most commonly believed is that they were so furious, the only logical conclusion was to murder her, dump her body in the desert and bring in her cloned replacement. Donald Marshall has apparently been seriously threatened by her evil clone to keep schtum so you know...you didn't hear it from me.
Yet if the theories are true, why the devil did no one get round to cloning David Bowie or Prince before it was too late? Hear me now Illuminati, if you really are up to this - somebody get David Attenborough signed up, STAT.