The best of Trubama fan fiction…
This article contains some sexual content.
Justin Trudeau’s pretty hot real estate right now if you’re of a liberal tendency.
He calls himself a feminist. He's the first Canadian PM to be seen on a Pride march. He may be the first head of state to be seen out wearing a buttoned-down pink shirts with white jeans. It’s no wonder that everyone on the internet of a slightly liberal persuasion seems to love him.
Then there’s his bromance with Obama. People are shipping these two pretty hard and, from some of the exchanges we’ve seen, where they're hugging, laughing or staring longingly at one another, either they’re both playing up to the fandom, or they really are more than just friendly nations.
We gathered some of the best Trudeau/Trubama fan-fiction for your delectation right here...
Head of State
The Canadian Prime Minister visits The Whitehouse for the first time. He’s relatively junior and keen to impress the leader of the free world. Obama isn’t interested in talking politics though and, taking a gamble, Trudeau guesses there may just be another way he can show himself to be competent. Let’s just say that Trudeau’s trip south of the border pays off.
"He took a step closer, the carpet absorbing the noise of his Italian shoes. He reached one hand out, and before he was able to hesitate, drew it slowly down Barack’s cheek. His skin was warm, and smooth, with only the slightest touch of stubble. He wondered, briefly, if when it grew it would be grey like the steely patches around his temples.
"Justin drifted the back of his hand down the President’s surprisingly firm chest, lowering his gaze to the other man’s body. He studied the lanky frame as he deftly undid the button on his own suit jacket. Then, he dropped to his knees. The plush floor absorbed the impact, and so easily, painlessly, he was now looking directly at the belt buckle of one of the powerful people in the world."
Obama - Trudeau, a fan fiction
Obama and Trudeau talk liberal politics and things get extremely steamy. No actual hanky-panky though - just lots of talk about feminism, lapsed Catholicism and universal healthcare.
"Say what you’re thinking. Say something forbidden. Something dirty. Say something so damn liberal, it’d make Bill O’Reilly have an aneurism."
There was silence. Trudeau stared at Obama in shock - but only for a moment. There was something desperate about Barack right now. Something that needed release. He had the President of the United States in the palm of his hand - and he was going to milk it for all it was worth.
"I’m going to march at Toronto Pride."
Barack’s breath stuck in his throat.
"I’m raising my son to be a feminist, and I said so on camera."
The President leaned in closer towards Trudeau.
"I openly refer to myself as a lapsed Catholic."
"Oh my God!" sighed Barack. "You’re so left wing, Justin! Don’t stop, please, don’t stop!" At this point, they were both scribbling furiously in their agendas, never breaking eye contact.
"Your turn," smirked Trudeau. "Tell me your fantasy. Tell me your dirtiest, most liberal fantasies for America. Don’t hold back."
"I want a single-payer healthcare system. No more insurance company control. Complete European-style socialism, baby."
"Yeah, you do!" Trudeau egged him on. "What else do you want?"
"Oh my goodness... Oh wow. I want to... I want to get rid of the Second Amendment! Totally gone. Destroy it! Tear it up, yeah!"
Review: Dangerously liberal
The Best of Canada
Obama and Justin plan a joint strategy. Yup, that’s right. After discussing cannabis legalisation in the US, the two statesman cook up a plot to get high. And they do. First it gets giggly. Then it gets sexy.
"Maybe it’s the pot finally hitting him, but Justin’s brain isn’t coming up with the reasons why he shouldn’t. He’d always been an affectionate guy, eager to dive into crowds and gaining his energy by making people love him. His boundaries of physical affection were already a bit muddled. **** it. They were 21st century men, weren’t they?
"He looks down and drags from the little stub, and scatters what’s left into the fireplace so it can disintegrate into ashes. He holds his breathe in carefully. When he looks up, Barack’s a few steps closer and directly in front of his face, looking at him intensely. The next second Justin opens his mouth, and the President of the United States of America kisses him."
If you like stoner movies like Pineapple Express, mixed with some gay erotica, then this is for you.
Written from the point of view of Trudeau's imaginary mistress - a 21-year old student.
"A single tear falls from my husky blue eyes and onto my full lips. Justin wiped the tear with his thumb, frowning as he did so.
"Babe," Justin says, frowning as he usually does, "I don't expect you to understand. Heck, sometimes I don't even understand. My term is almost up, and we'll be able to be together."
Paints Justin as a slightly patronising elder lover. Too fantastical. Our Justin would never be so duplicitous.