Trouble spots

Being safe can sometimes seem dull and boring, but acting safely can help you not to become pregnant or get someone else pregnant. It can help prevent you getting ill, and it can help you to have the friendships and relationships that you want. It is good to feel safe, especially when you are somewhere you have never been before.

There may be times when you are asked or even expected to have sexual contact with someone you don't want to have sex with. The person may be too demanding or even violent. You may not know them. You may know them very well, or even be married or related to them. Often these people are in positions of power and may try to bully or beat, blackmail or bribe you into having sex with them. This is called abuse. What they are doing to you could be illegal but may also be dangerous. If you are in any trouble, seek advice from someone you absolutely trust and who will give you support. This could be someone inside or outside your own family.

Remember, you are not to blame. Your sexual well being is not about enforced violence, nor payment. It is about trust and enjoyment. Saying 'Yes' may mean yes, but saying 'No' always means no. For more information and resources for survivors of abuse visit Enchanted Wings.

Listen to one person's experience.

Costs to consider

The two ways you can insure against unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, are either by not having sex with anyone at all or by having safer sex. There is no such thing as completely safe sex. You can have safer sex by using condoms.

STIs are diseases that can be contracted through sexual contact. The most common STIs are: syphilis, genital warts, thrush, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, trichomonas and HIV.

Most STIs can be cured. Your Family Planning Association or doctor will give you advice about testing for these infections.

Sometimes there are no signs e.g. if you are infected with chlamydia. Therefore it is always better to protect yourself and of course your partner/s by using a condom.

When to seek medical attention

When to seek medical attention

A woman should seek medical advice if any of the following signs are found

• a discharge from the vagina with an unusual colour, smell or quantity
• pain and burning sensation when urinating
• pain and itching around the vagina
• painful sexual intercourse
• sores/blisters around the vagina

A man should seek medical advice if any of the following signs are found

• a discharge from the penis with an unusual colour or odour or quantity
• burning feeling in the penis during and immediately after urinating
• sores, warts or blisters on or around the penis
• rash or bumps in the genital area or other parts of the body

What happens if you don't seek advice

• you may become very ill and you may become infertile

HIV/AIDS

HIV (Human Immuno-Deficiency Virus) is a virus that breaks down your immune system. AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is what follows when the body has become infected with HIV and the body is not able to fight off a whole range of infections and conditions it becomes prone to.

HIV cannot pass through unbroken skin, through a latex barrier, i.e. a condom, and it cannot live long outside the human body. The virus cannot be transmitted through casual contact, kissing, masturbation, shaking hands, from toilet seats or using the same cutlery. Nor can it be caught from insect bites.

There are two main ways in which HIV is passed on from one person to another. One is when semen or vaginal fluid from an infected person enters another person's body during penetrative sex (vaginal or anal). The other is from blood stream to blood stream i.e. when an infected person's blood gets inside another person's body. For this reason, drug users who share contaminated needles for injections are at risk, as are people who have blood transfusions when the equipment is not properly sterile or the blood is infected. Women with the virus can pass it on to their baby during pregnancy, at birth or via their breast milk.

When the virus enters the body a person is referred to as being 'HIV positive'. A person may be HIV positive without knowing it. Possible signs and symptoms of HIV/AIDS are more than 10% loss of weight; fever for longer than a month; fatigue and night sweats. People can be infected (i.e. be HIV positive) for many years before they develop AIDS. HIV is not prejudiced and does not belong to certain groups of people. It is a disease that is passed on by risky behaviour. It is a disease that can affect us all, but it is avoidable.

More on HIV/AIDs at the BBC World Service Health Site

Abortion

Pregnancy may not always be good news. If you do find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy, the situation can be very upsetting. Abortion is a procedure to terminate unwanted pregnancy. The contents of the woman's uterus are extracted or the woman is given medication to induce an abortion. Abortion remains a contentious issue for many, but it is a personal decision for women. In some countries it is illegal to have one.
For more information and advice visit Marie Stopes International.

Some people believe myths such as drinking large amounts of alcohol or having very hot baths will bring on a spontaneous abortion, i.e. a miscarriage. These are not methods of terminating a pregnancy, they are ways to damage your health. For your own sake, it's important to act quickly and decide whether or not you want to have an abortion. This is a personal choice. Whatever your decision, seek advice from a medical practitioner. If you decide that abortion is the choice for you, try to make up your mind as quickly as possible as the arrangements for the procedure may take some time. To protect your health, you will need to act as safely as you can by being absolutely sure that the abortion will be done in a reputable clinic or hospital.