Families with new babies
birth
celebrations |
mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws
Birth
celebrations
Many
mothers have local traditions about "lying-in", or "seclusion"
of the mother, after childbirth. This can often be for
about six weeks but for some mothers it's about three
months!
A
good lying-in period can be very useful, allowing mothers
to recover from the experience of childbirth, and helping
with bonding between mother and baby. There is also
evidence that this period can help in avoiding psychological
problems for the mother, together with being welcomed
back to society with her new status as a "mother".
Of course, you can choose to return to ordinary life
early and many women are expected to return to work
shortly after the birth of their child. You can also
take a newborn baby out too, if you protect baby from
cold and take care that the baby doesn't go to places
where anyone is ill.
Many places have big ways of celebrating a new arrival!
Whether or not we like the traditions of the place we
live, we can always remember one thing: it is our baby,
and we can feel proud of simply bringing a new person
into the world who will love us. Be yourself!
Mother-in-laws
and daughter-in-laws
The
relationship between mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law
is often a very difficult one! When it's good, it can
be very important to us. But when it's bad, there is
a lot of stress. Understanding on both sides makes life
easier for everyone. The following are areas of difficulty
which should be treated with care.
On
one hand ablind faith in traditions and assumption by
mothers-in-law that "It was good enough in her day!"
can be opporessive.
But on the other hand new mothers do need help and many
mothers don't get the support and advice they need from
their mothers-in-law. Sometimes mothers say that bringing
up their mothers-in-law grandchild feels more like a
business arrangement rather than a family arrangement
about the baby. Particularly in a traditional family,
new mothers can be expected to work almost like a new
servant.
Sometimes there is pressure to keep new mothers in an
inferior position, to stop them being individual and
to make them into "passive" wives, who just accept everything.
Today, we know that a mother who is not allowed to be
herself may not be as good a mother as one who is.
Try to avoid rivalry and fighting for the approval of
your husband or son. Mothers-in-law should try to avoid
creating conflict between their sons and daughters-in-law.
Communicating
with a Baby
Feeding a Baby
How to Breastfeed
How to Bottlefeed
Feelings after having
a Baby
Postnatal Depression
Families with New
Babies
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